


The Fall

by AllisonDenne



Series: The Fall - A Star Wars Story (Fan-fic) [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Interrogation, Kylo Ren Redemption, Other, Poe Dameron x Reader (but not really), Resistance, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, The Dark Side of the Force, falling for the bad guy, in your head, interrogation sort of like Rey, resistance pilot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:08:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 36,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23223790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllisonDenne/pseuds/AllisonDenne
Summary: You were a pilot in the Resistance. One of the best, in fact. After years of attempting to conceal the fact that you are force-sensitive, Commander Kylo Ren is tasked with finding you after he learns the truth of your past... Little did you know, you might be falling for the man himself...
Relationships: Ben Solo/Reader, Kylo Ren/Reader, poe - Relationship
Series: The Fall - A Star Wars Story (Fan-fic) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1737691
Comments: 9
Kudos: 41





	1. Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone! This is officially my first work on here (my apologies if it's not A-class writing). I love Star Wars and I thought perhaps it would be fun to write some things for you all to enjoy! Happy reading.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain Y/N. You're one of the proud pilots of the Resistance with a (in your opinion, terrifying) secret. And when chosen by Commander Poe Dameron for you to join him on a mission - things go awry...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good evening, everyone! Here is chapter 1 for your reading pleasure!
> 
> Happy reading!

You were one of the best pilots in the Resistance. Captain Y/L/N, many would often swear that a theme song would play whenever you'd walk into a room. You were no Poe Dameron (at least, in your words), but you enjoyed your life in the Resistance... What can you say? You loved flying and you were surrounded by your friends and fellow soldiers. Not to mention you were protecting the galaxy in the process of living, what you'd call it, your "best life". However, there was one thing that set you apart from everyone else - you were force-sensitive. Whilst most would consider it a gift, you honestly weren't really fond of it... Mainly because you had no idea how to control it. If ever you were mad, you could send a glass flying across the room, not even trying! (Thankfully, there was no one around to witness that). And more often than not, you could hear people's thoughts... Which was quite annoying at times. Point being: You were different. If only you had a way to learn about the Force and how to control it, it would help immensely. But little did you know, your 'luck' was about to change in the most unfortunate of ways...

It was a beautiful morning on the Resistance Headquarters base at D'Qar... The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and it was time for a mission briefing before you were to head out. You weren't exactly sure what the mission was, but you were excited to be a part of it nonetheless. You headed into the briefing room, where there sat your fellow pilots in one section and the rest of the people standing around in anticipation. "Hey Y/N, over here!" Jess called out, scooting over a bit to provide you with a seat as you smiled. "Hey, Jess!" you greeted her in reply as you sat to her right in between her and Wexley. "Ready to do some flying, Y/L/N?" Wexley asked, Jess chuckling to herself as you two did your little handshake you made up years ago. "You know it, Wex! Wait, where's Poe?" you asked your friends who shrugged and giggled. "Ooh Y/N's got a boyfriend!" Jess bantered like a schoolgirl as you rolled your eyes. Okay, so maybe Poe was handsome. But he certainly was NOT your boyfriend. "Jess. I love you but no. He's-- Oh there he is." you replied, your gaze drifting to the doorway as Poe walked in... Fashionably late, as usual. Then again, how could a pilot in the Resistance be 'just late'? No, it was _fashionably_ late, thank you very much. "Hey, Y/N!" he greeted you with a smile as you simply stated, "Hello, Poe!" with a grin that was reciprocated. The man-made (or in this case, Jess and Wexley made) "romantic" tension you could cut with a knife, that is, until Jess broke it with a dramatic gasp. "No greetings for me and Wex?! For shame, Poe!" she exclaimed, placing a hand over her heart as if she was just shot by a blaster. "Shh, Jess. They're starting!" you whispered with your index finger over your mouth as Admiral Statura began to speak. 

"Good morning, everyone. Today's mission to Jakku will be led by Commander Dameron. Commander, I trust you've a partner in mind?" He asked, shifting his attention to Poe as us in the Black Squadron groaned. It was in that moment, you wished that you weren't in the Black Squadron _'Jakku?'_ you thought to yourself. _'That dirty, lowdown land full of--'_ "Yes, sir. Captain Y/L/N, sir." Poe replied as your thoughts came to an abrupt halt when you noticed that Poe said YOUR name. Great, just great... You thought that you were going to go with Snap and Jess on patrol, but you weren't now. "Your objective is to retrieve intel regarding the First Order's whereabouts. We've a spy in their ranks and he will be meeting a member of the Black Squadron of Commander Dameron's choosing to discuss our enemy's plans. Any questions?" he asked as he surveyed the room, everyone remaining silent. Jakku was no Canto Bight, but this was obviously important. "All right. Commander, Captain, may the Force be with you." Admiral Statura stated whilst the crowd nodded in agreement and dispersed... You followed Poe out the door and he stopped in your tracks with a concerned look. "I-I'm sorry if I put you on the spot. I can get Snap to go instead if you want. I don't like Jakku either." he apologized as you quickly shook your head in protest. "Oh, no sir! I'm honored to have been chosen." you replied with a playful smile whilst Poe patted your shoulder and told you that he'd see you in five. So with a confident sigh, you left for the flight pad.

Your braided hair swayed in the breeze as you made your way down the runway in that signature orange jumpsuit. Fashion. At. It's. Finest. You hopped into your X-Wing as Poe did the same in his, and with a smile, he tapped his window with his fist and gave you a thumbs up before the engines fired up and you two soared away and to the stars... There was nothing like leaving on another mission. The combined excitement of flying among the stars and the anticipation of what the mission would bring was exhilarating, to say the least. It was a rush and you loved it! Soon, you approached the planet Jakku and the comms lit up with Poe's voice. "All right, Y/N. The spy will be in the far left booth waiting for you to meet him. Why the Resistance always chooses that booth, I don't know. Surprised the First Order hasn't figured it out already." he trailed off as you exhaled and with a smile replied, "Got it.". A long silence fell across the comm link until Poe broke the silence. "Someone's nervous. Come on, sweetheart you're in good hands." Poe said with a chuckle as you turned a bright shade of pink under your helmet. He was flirting, as was often his way with many other women on the base. "Very funny, Poe." you stated with a smile, following Poe's lead as you both finally landed in the desert outskirts of Jakku. Throwing off your helmet to let your hair flow freely in the wind, you met Poe on the ground below and began your trek to the cantina.

"Wow. This is a strange place for a cantina." you stated, gazing at the entrance as Poe pulled you aside to discuss the plan once more. "Okay. Far left booth, guy with red hair, don't talk to anyone, and keep your hand on your gun." he said, provoking you to roll your eyes and chuckle. As if you've never been on a mission before! "Anything else I should know, Commander?" you asked sarcastically. "Just act normal. I'll be sitting in my X-Wing if you need me." he replied with a smile. Thankfully, he caught on to the sarcasm and let it slide. You two were friends, what can you say? So with a sigh, you entered the cantina and immediately began surveying the patrons. Everyone sitting at their tables, enjoying their drinks whilst the music echoed through the walls. And per instruction, you sat in the far left booth in the shadows. _'Perfectly normal! Just sitting in the shadows with my hand on my gun.'_ you thought to yourself with an inward chuckle as you sank into your seat, sipping your beverage the waitress handed you. Five minutes passed... Then ten, then fifteen. No sight of a guy with red hair and important knowledge. "Poe, I don't think he's showing up. I'm on my second drink and these scumbags here are eyeing me down." you whispered into your hand-held comm as he quickly responded on the other end. "Five more minutes, then we'll leave. This information is valuable." he replied, provoking you to sigh heavily and nod in agreement before the door to the cantina swung open, revealing approximately six stormtroopers who instantly began looking around the cantina for someone certain... And then, they stopped. Noticing the single woman sitting at the far left booth by herself as they quickly began making their way to... You. Yup, it was time to run. And that's exactly what you did. You sprang from your seat and began running as fast as your legs could carry you out of the bar.

"Poe, they're onto me. Somehow they knew I would be here. It was a trap!" you exclaimed into your comm as Poe's voice faintly sounded through the static. "W-Wha-- Com-- To th-- Okay?!" he ordered incoherently. Go where?! You were running for your life with an umpteenth number of troopers chasing you. "I'm headed to the alley. Meet me at the rendezvous point and we'll get out of here!" you shouted, your comm dying as you groaned tiredly. So, you headed down the alley... Only to be met with a dead-end as the stormtroopers closed in. Suddenly, they parted, allowing a man dressed in black from head to toe to come through. Not one part of him was left uncovered. His face was shielded by a mask, and every inch of him covered in black. "Let me through." you managed to say without your voice breaking in fear as you tried to pass, only to be stopped by the man in black restraining you with the force. Oh lovely, he was force-sensitive too... "Bring her to my ship." he ordered the troopers, waving his hand as you lost consciousness instantly and fell to the ground. 

This was going to be fun... 


	2. A Strange Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You awake aboard the Finalizer - a First Order ship that is anything but great...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two is now published for your enjoyment! In this chapter, things begin to go down hill very, very quickly... (Please note: The interrogation is likened unto Rey's in TFA. Your parents took off when you were little and Kylo uses that to his advantage.)

You awoke to a cold room... Made of metal as the hum of the spacecraft faintly sounded through the walls. As you slowly came to your senses, a sharp pain in the back of your head made itself known... Wincing at the sudden onset (or maybe not so sudden, you couldn't remember) of pain, you attempted to reach up and feel out the area for a gash, only to realize your hands and feet were bound to a metal chair. Suddenly, you realized this was unlike anything you've seen before in the Resistance. You knew that you most likely weren't rescued... What was the last thing you could remember? Let's see, let's see... Um, storm troopers, you thought. Then a weird guy in a mask, then black. Nothing else afterward, which was frightening. In the midst of your thoughts, the door hissed open as the same masked man stepped in, provoking question after question to flood into your mind... But you dared not speak, for your voice would've cracked due to fear. It was hard to see his facial expressions behind the mask as he inched his way closer, or even his eye movements behind the thin strip of visor! You wondered where his eyes trailed... Your face? Body? Or - somewhere else? No matter, there were more urgent matters at hand. "Y/N Y/L/N, welcome." the man stated in monotone. Emotionless and sarcastic, perfect. "W-Where am I?" you asked, barely keeping your voice from wavering in fear as he walked closer. "Aboard the Finalizer." he replied simply before taking a breath and adding, "You're trembling.". 

_'That's what happens when you wake up on a First Order Star Destroyer and being greeted by a man in a mask.'_ you thought to yourself.

"If you would have complied, I wouldn't have had to take such... Extreme measures." he said aloud in reply to your thought, rendering you speechless for a moment until you realized - he was force-sensitive too. He noticed something about you, something different that compelled him to rid his mask from his face... He undid his mask with a 'hiss' and you were immediately met with the sight of a man with black hair, dark eyes, and pale skin with a scar running down the right side of his face... Kylo Ren... His rather attractive looks distracted you for a moment before you quipped back in your head to the man. 

'Get out of my head.' you told him through the force as he staggered backwards lightly. "You're force-sensitive too... Uncommon for a Resistance pilot. What else is in there?" he asked, bringing his hand up to your temple as he attempted to force any and every detail out of you... Which was easier said than done. Sweat fell from your forehead as he sifted through your memories and thoughts for information... Important and unimportant. It would have been easier to resist if he wasn't so... Handsome. He was attractive - for a killer. "What are these... Feelings? Anger, loneliness... Y/N Y/L/N. Abandoned by her parents." he stated, his voice strangely smooth as tears rolled down your cheeks. Your parents left when you were a child, and the Resistance found you and took you in. Ever since you tried not to look back, but there was always a piece of you missing. "I-I wasn't abandoned." you protested in a broken voice. You desperately tried to tell yourself it wasn't true, but to no avail. Not when a man like Kylo Ren was sifting through your mind.

"Search your feelings, you know it's true... Sold off for drinking money and left in a desert wasteland, I did my research. A pilot, second to Commander Dameron." he whispered, provoking the anger within you to rise. "I'm not second to anyone!" you exclaimed as Kylo smirked. "No... You aren't, are you? You have the force, yet you don't know how to control it... I could teach you, for a small price that is..." he offered slyly... Wait, was he - offering to help _you_?! This day just got far more interesting. Perhaps you could-- no. No no no, you wouldn't let yourself be seduced by the dark side. That's not what your parents would have wanted. "Just tell me where your base is located and I will help you." he added. Of course, there was THAT catch. "No. I don't want your help and I'll never tell you... You can torture me, poke and prod through my head but I'll never tell you!" you spat as Kylo rose his hand to strike you, only for him to stop in the midst of his actions. "We'll see. Take her to her cell." he demanded the storm troopers as they quickly cuffed you and led you away...

They shoved you into your cell and closed the blast doors, leaving you sitting in the corner and hoping - praying, even... That someone, anyone, would rescue you... But with that hope, because - that's what the Resistance was founded on, after all... You slipped off into a slumber as you dreamed about being back in D'Qar with your friends once again...


	3. The Plan and Interrogation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe returns to the Resistance base on D'Qar to arrange a rescue party to bring you home... Meanwhile, back on the Finalizer - Kylo Ren attempts to get the information he seeks from you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello to those who are reading! Thank you so much for taking an interest in my work, it's greatly appreciated! If you'd like to read some of my work that aren't fan-fics I have a wattpad account (Username: AllisonDenne) and currently am publishing my second book on there (one chapter a week). If you'd like to check it out, that would be great!
> 
> Anyways, happy reading!

Poe leaped out of his cockpit of his X-Wing and began running down the air-strip with tear-filled eyes... He was responsible for you, he should have watched your six at all times, and he let you down... At least, in his mind he did. It was your choice, to go in by yourself. You wanted to. But he had to get to General Organa as soon as he could. "Welcome back, Poe! Wait, where's Y/N?" Snap and Jess asked, trying to keep up with Poe's pace as sweat fell from his brow. "S-She's been captured. I-I need to talk to Leia." he replied as his voice wavered in fear. There was no telling what they were doing to you, or if you were even alive. Finally, Poe caught a glimpse of Leia amid the crowds and hastened to where she stood. "Commander Dameron, you're back. Did you get the information?" she asked as Poe caught his breath for a moment then spoke, his voice threatening to break altogether. "T-That's just it, General. We didn't get it... It-- It was a trap and Y/N was captured... Her comms died before I could get to her. She was taken by the First Order." he said as a few tears fell from his eyes, watching Leia's face change whilst she grasped his hand gently. "We'll find her, Poe. But we have to stay strong... For Y/N, okay?" she assured him, provoking him to regain his composure as he simply replied: "Okay... For Y/N." and left to gather everyone for a meeting... There was no time to lose. He had to find you...

**Meanwhile, aboard the Finalizer...**

You were struck for the third time... This slap echoed through the walls of the interrogation room and my, it was NOT pleasant. Your hair was in quite the disarray, the lose strands stuck to the sweat on your temple and the cuts along your cheeks as each and every slap stung more and more. "I said - Give me the location of your base." the red-haired man in front of you ordered... General Hux, his voice was strangely calm for someone who was striking you with such anger. "I-If you think I'll tell you..." you began in between breaths. "You really are stupid." you added, only to be met with another strike across your cheek that provoked you to groan in pain. _'A fourth time?! Really?! What is this guy's deal?'_ you thought to yourself. Suddenly, the blast doors hissed open and in stepped Kylo Ren, his face hidden behind his mask that you thought irrelevant. "What is this?" Kylo asked Hux with that same emotionless voice behind the synthesizer. Wasn't it clear? He was practically beating you to a bloody pulp! "Y-You requested for information on the rebel's base location. I thought--" Hux began, silenced in the middle of his reply by Kylo choking Hux's neck with three fingers. "I said to get the information, not beat the girl... Listen next time, am I understood?" Kylo ordered as he released the General from his force-chokehold, dropping him to the ground to pant for air whilst Kylo added, "Leave us.". And with that, Hux hurried out of the room as Kylo inched his way closer to the seat you were bound to.

What on earth was he about to do? He could've snapped Hux's neck in an instant, there was no telling what he could do to you - a rebel. He freed his head from his mask and set it down nearby as he caught your gaze with those cold, dark eyes of his. "Have you considered my offer?" he asked. Of course, you weren't giving him anything... Sure, he was Prince Ren (how he was royalty, you had no clue. But that's how many people addressed him, along with "Your Highness", etc.), but that didn't mean that you would give in. You weren't easily persuaded... Therefore, you just stayed silent. "I sense you long for more than a teacher... You long to know the truth - about your parents... But, you've always known, haven't you?" he stated, inching closer until he was practically an inch away from you. Heavens, why did he have to poke and prod through your mind? "I know who they are." he added as you instantly met his gaze with a dropped jaw. How could he know? I suppose he had his ways, but how would HE know who YOUR parents are? No. No, he was toying with your mind... Like a cat with string. "All you have to do is tell me where your base is..." he whispered with temptation as you closed your eyes and pondered your next words very, _very_ carefully. But, as headstrong as you were, you stayed silent in defiance. "What could you hope to gain by protecting them? The liars, traitors, and thieves you call 'friends'. You're nothing but a solider in their ranks. Here you could be more." he said, provoking tears to fall from your eyes as you listened to this truth - or lie - that he planted into your head. "I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice - You _will_ tell me where your base is located." he added as he lifted his hand to your temple to extract each and every piece of information from that brain of yours. You couldn't do that... You couldn't betray Poe, Snap, Jess... Or Leia. No matter how much it hurt, you resisted Kylo's power. Your screams filled the halls and corridors of that floor of the Finalizer as did Kylo's incessant demands and shouts of _"TELL ME!"_. Soon, the mind games and pain had ended and Kylo ordered the storm troopers to return you to your cell. He could have hurt you, badly. Yet, he didn't lay a finger on you... Why was he sparing you? You were nothing to him... Or so you thought.

**Back at D'Qar...**

Poe stood at the holo-map in front of every pilot, engineer, and every occupation in between in the mission-briefing room. Everyone was muttering among themselves, wondering what in the galaxy was going on... "Commander Dameron has some very important news for us. Please, give your attention." Leia spoke up as silence fell upon the crowd, provoking Poe to exhale sharply and speak. "Our latest mission to gather intel on the First Order's whereabouts has... Failed. It was a trap that me, and Captain Y/L/N, fell into. And unfortunately, Y/N has been captured by the First Order and is aboard the Finalizer - a star-destroyer. I am assembling a team to infiltrate the Finalizer and bring her home. A-Are there any volunteers?" he asked... The crowd, needless to say, stayed silent. It was a dangerous mission, and Poe didn't expect anyone to volunteer... That is, until two hands shot up. "We'll go." Snap and Jess said in unison as Finn rose his as well. "I use to work on that ship, I'll help." he said with a confident nod that was reciprocated as Leia grinned. "I believe you found your volunteers, Commander. We have an ex-imperial ship for your disposal, along with an older code, but it's proven useful before. That will be all, everyone." Leia said, dismissing the crowd as Poe, Finn, Snap, and Jess followed her out onto the air strip. 

"Here is your ship, Commander. It's not an X-Wing but--" "I can fly anything, General." Poe interrupted with confidence. It was true, he really could. Especially when he piloted that TIE fighter when Finn defected from the First Order. "All right, gang... We leave tomorrow." Poe said as everyone nodded in agreement and dispersed, leaving Poe alone to stare up at the dusk-fallen sky. "Hang on, Y/N. Just a little bit longer..." he whispered at the moon, praying to the Maker that you hadn't given up hope yet...


	4. Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe, Finn, Snap, and Jess embark on a mission to infiltrate the Finalizer and bring you home...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4, here you go! Thank you to those who have read! I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing!

The sun rose above the base in D'Qar as Poe, Finn, Snap, and Jess made their way down the runway and to the Imperial ship awaiting their arrival. It wasn't... much... And everyone had their doubts - even BB-8! As Poe positioned himself in the pilot's seat of the ship, BB chirped and beeped (in an incoherent manner according to Snap, Jess, and Finn) whilst Poe swallowed a heavy sigh. "Come on, pal. I'm sure it's not as bad as it looks. Happy beeps here, bud." he assured BB-8, firing up the ignition and engines as the ship sputtered for a moment before a smoother sound took effect. "Happy beeps..." Poe whispered to himself as everyone strapped in, watching the ground below get smaller - and smaller - until the base was out of sight... 

"All right, how do I look?" Poe asked, walking into the waiting area in the ship, dressed in his First Order uniform for the mission. And, hah, WOW. He even looked good in a First Order uniform. "Like First Order scum, Poe!" Jess replied with a grin as Poe rolled his eyes. Of course, Jess couldn't pass down the chance to tease Poe, but he didn't mind it. "Okay, so here's the plan. Me, Finn, and BB-8 will go in, find Y/N, and come right back out. Snap, you and Jess stay in here and wait for my signal to start up the engines so we can get outta here. And Finn, what's our story?" Poe asked as he glanced at Finn who drew a sharp breath before speaking. "Arms and ammunition." he replied whilst Poe nodded and turned to BB-8 with an eyebrow raised. "Uh, buddy you need a disguise too... Let's see here - ah!" Poe exclaimed, grabbing a nearby trash bin as he flipped it over the droid... Making him look almost identical to a First Order droid. "Perfect." he said under his breath just as the alarms sounded, notifying the passengers that they were making contact with the star-ship. "Cargo ship 11-90, what is your hold? Over." a man from the Finalizer asked over the comms. "Arms and ammunition, package for General Hugs-- I mean, Hux." Poe replied, silencing Jess and Snap from their stifled laughter. 

"General, arms and ammunition cargo ship. They have an older code, but it checks out. Should I let them through?" the man asked Hux as he thought for a moment then spoke. "I don't remember ordering anything of the sort... But I suppose a few more weapons to be used against the Resistance would be useful. Allow them to pass." Hux replied. And the man did exactly that, to the surprise of Poe. "Okay, guys. We ready? Jess, you're up." Poe said, landing the ship as Jess instantly met Hux on the landing pad, along with multiple stormtroopers whilst Poe and Finn led the 'package' away and out of sight... As soon as they were alone, they slid the package into a nearby cargo room and began to stride down the hall... Taking special care to make their pace look *somewhat* normal.

You sat alone in your cell... Not so much as a glimmer of hope in sight. You thought of D'Qar. How you and Jess would walk around the base together, and how you and Snap would play card games whenever you two weren't working. And of Poe... How you loved the way his chocolate curls fell in such a handsome disarray when he threw off his helmet after a mission, climbing down from his X-Wing. And Leia; her wisdom and constant reminders to stay strong... "Hope is like the sun. If you only believe it when you see it you'll never make it through the night." she'd often say, which you repeated to yourself countless times in that cell. You lost yourself in your thoughts... That is, until you heard a faint noise which made you perk up instantly. The familiar sound of - lo, and behold - BB-8's chirping from down the hall. "Where is she buddy?" Poe whispered to BB down the corridor as you called out for him the best you could. "P-Poe, I'm h-here!" you exclaimed weakly, listening as the two pairs of footsteps ran to where you were. And with a hiss of the blast doors, they opened - revealing Poe in his First Order uniform with tear-filled eyes. "Y/N, you're okay. Oh thank the Maker, you're alive I-- Wait. W-Who did this to you?" he asked, kneeling at your side as you began to cry. "H-Hux... P-Poe, I was so f-frightened." you replied, only to be met with an assuring hush of Poe's voice. "Hey hey hey, it's okay. I'm here now, all right? Come on, let's get you home." he said as he helped you to your feet, staggering into the corridor and out of sight to the ship with the quietest of movements.

Soon (slower, however, than you would've liked), you, Poe, Finn, and BB-8 reached the ship and began to board... Only to be stopped by a stormtrooper who noticed a certain prisoner - you - who was out of confinement. "Hey! Hand over the prisoner!" he demanded as Poe struck the man with the back of his blaster, drawing attention to literally the worst place he could draw attention to... The very ship you were escaping in! "Alert Prince Ren that there has been a breach!" another demanded as two more ran out of sight to obey. At that time, Jess and Snap began returning fire to the troopers from the cargo hold. Blaster shots echoed through the walls as Finn helped you inside and into the med bed. "It'll be okay, Y/N. We'll be out of sight before--" "He knows..." you interrupted, your eyes widening at the sudden feeling you had. You sensed it, and you knew it to be true... Kylo Ren already found out. "We have to leave, Finn. Now." you managed to say before passing out completely. So, Finn gathered Poe, Snap, and Jess and soon enough you all flew out of sight. Right in the nick of time before the shield was up...

Kylo Ren stepped into the flight bay... His fists tightened at his sides and his dark mask and attire making him all the more intimidating. "S-Sir they've gone--" a lieutenant began, only to be silenced by Kylo snapping his neck with the force in a mere second. Suddenly, in fury, he ignited his lightsaber and ran it through practically anything in his sight - destroying even the most expensive of technology the Finalizer had used. "Find the girl at all costs. Do not rest until you do." he ordered gravely, deactivating his weapon as he marched away towards his quarters, seething with anger that the most valuable person - to his mission - was out of his reach...


	5. The Pilot's Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Safely back at D'Qar, you're wanting to jump back into work but Poe orders you to rest... Meanwhile, Kylo meets with the Supreme Leader regarding your disappearance and something strange happens in the quietness of your room...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! Thank you to those who are reading! Sorry if the uploading is rather sporadic, life is pretty crazy (yet, so boring) with the quarantine... But, life goes on. Hope you guys have a wonderful day and enjoy reading!

Your eyes fluttered open... The lights above blinding you momentarily as you then realized where you were - the medical bay. Or... A medical bay, you weren't quite sure where you were exactly. You were tired and the cuts on your face stung as a nurse sprayed bacta on your wounds. "Wha-- Where am I?" you asked groggily until the sound of the door opening reached your ears. "Y/N! You're awake!" Jess and Snap exclaimed as they stepped into the room, Poe following closely behind in anticipation regarding your condition. And of course, you were relieved to see some familiar faces so you knew - you were back in D'Qar. "You can't make me worry like this again, Captain." Poe stated, a smile spreading on his face as you replied: "Can't make any promises, Commander." with a grin that made you wince at the pain. That was yours and Poe's thing as friends (or even perhaps as more than that); addressing one another by each other's official titles but it never lasted for long before the chuckling commenced. A strange way of flirting, but it was something you two shared even though you both were friends for approximately two years now. "How are you doing?" he asked, provoking you to attempt to sit upright as you budged not even an inch. "Like I was hit with an X-Wing, but I'm feeling better already." you replied with a reassuring smile as Poe breathed a sigh of - what's the word? - Ah, yes. Relief. "Wait, how long have I been asleep?" you asked with widened eyes. "A good full day." Snap replied truthfully. "That's too long... I've got to get back to work, I-I'm sure there's much to do-- AH!" you exclaimed in pain after you attempted to stand upright, only for the sharp pain in your leg to bring you to the ground as Poe rushed to your aid. "Woah woah woah! Not so fast, Y/N, you're injured. Come on, let me take you back to your room." he said, helping you to your feet as Jess snickered. "I was gonna help her but - Okay, Dameron. I see you!" she exclaimed as you and Poe rolled your eyes and left the room...

"And, we're here." Poe said, punching in the code to your quarters as you watched from the side in amusement and slight confusion. "I don't believe I've told you my code, Commander." you said with a chuckle as Poe's face tinged a slight shade of pink whilst he thought of a credible answer. "Captain, I have my ways as your superior... Which totally doesn't involve, uh... watching you while I pass you in the hall..." he said, mumbling the last part of the sentence as you rose an eyebrow. "What?" you asked. "What? Nothing." he replied just as the door hissed open, locking your arm with his whilst he helped you inside and sat you on your bed and began to unlace your boots. "Poe, I'm pretty sure I can unlace my own boots." you said with a chuckle, watching Poe toss your last boot aside with amusement. "Already done. Do you, uh, need anything else? Food? Pain meds?" he asked, gazing at you stagger to your feet as you joked, "Unless you're planning on helping rid my body of these sweaty clothes, no.". Poe was left speechless for a millisecond, before he smirked. That gosh-darn smirk put butterflies in your stomach. Every. Time. "I mean, I have time so..." he replied. Now _you_ were speechless, besides chuckling lightly while blushing. "You like this with every girl, Dameron?" you asked with a laugh as he shook his head. "I'll let you answer that for yourself, Y/L/N." he said, a gleam in his eye. You knew - he wasn't like that with every girl. Only you, and you knew it. "Oh. And Y/N?" he added as he stopped in the doorway, provoking you to meet his gaze as he simply said: "I'm glad you're safe." and headed off down the corridor as your door closed. So, with a relieved sigh, you staggered into your washroom to shower... And my gosh, you were glad to be back.

**Meanwhile, on the Finalizer...**

Kylo stood in his quarters, staring out into the infinite abyss of stars as his door opened with a _hiss_ , listening to a pair of footsteps near where he stood from behind. It was Hux, with his hands clasped behind his back as he spoke. "The Supreme Leader is making contact from his ship and demands to speak with you." he stated simply as Kylo strode past him with a swift pace and into a dark room where there stood a large hologram of Snoke himself, sitting on his throne in a stately manner. "Supreme Leader." Kylo greeted him with a bow. "You dare speak to me with that - that childish mask on? Remove it." Snoke demanded as Ren obeyed and set it aside. "What of the girl?" he asked, leaning back on his throne whilst Kylo looked up and spoke. "She escaped. Along with the traitor FN-2187 and a pilot." Kylo replied simply, practically in a monotone manner as Snoke scoffed. "You mean you let her escape. I warned you that your equal in the light would rise, and if her power in the light continues to grow... She will pose a threat to you and the First Order." he said. "How could she be my equal? She was deserted, a pilot for the rebel scum. What interest is she of yours?" Kylo interrupted as Snoke stood upright in anger. "You dare question my intent?! She must be turned. I hope for your sake, and the sake of the First Order, she does just that..." he stated, the hologram cutting off as Kylo stood alone in the darkness before returning to his quarters in silence... 

**Back on D'Qar...**

You stepped out of the bathtub, wincing at the pain as you slowly clothed yourself in a sleeveless maroon shirt and black pants that you wore for either lounging or working on your X-Wing. You began to slip your shirt over your head as you walked into your bedroom when you noticed Poe... Standing near the door with a tray of food in his hands as he watched you slip your shirt on over your torso with a slight but noticeable smirk. "Oh! Heavens, Poe, you surprised me!" you exclaimed, tossing your old clothes in a nearby bin as Poe sat on your bed next to you. "I uh, brought you some food in case you were feeling up to eating." he said with a kind smile as he set the tray aside. "You know, I was pretty scared... When you were taken." Poe admitted suddenly, rendering you speechless momentarily. _The_ Poe Dameron - _scared?_ It must've been a joke. "You. Scared? Come on, Dameron. There's no scaring you." you replied with a chuckle, watching as the man scooted closer to your side gently. "Well, not many things scare me, Y/L/N... But when you were taken... Something inside me woke up a-and I knew I had to bring you home... Even if it meant I could die." he said, brushing a few strands of hair behind your ears as you both leaned in closer - and closer - until... _CHIRP!_ BB-8 rolled into the room and you and Poe chuckled lightly, pulling away with a grin as BB chirped and beeped away to Poe. "Woah, buddy. Slow down! All right, all right! Lead the way." he told the droid as he stood upright and turned to meet your gaze. "Duty calls. Now you - stay here and rest, Captain. That's an order." Poe said, shooting you a smile before following close behind BB-8 into the hallway. "What? Nothing was going on-- Oh so YOU think I'm lovesick? I see the way you beep at BB-3 down the hall, pal." he trailed off to the droid, provoking you to chuckle to yourself as the door closed... Leaving you to eat and clean your boots in silence. 

You brushed and scrubbed away at your boots... Finally, some of that First Order grime (at least, that's what you called it) was coming off. You couldn't help but lose yourself in your thoughts until - _clank!_ An unfamiliar sound there in the Resistance Base echoed through your ears. You cocked an eyebrow at the sudden noise and staggered over to your door, opened it, and peaked out into the corridor. No one... Not a soul was there. The only place you heard this repetitive sound was in the Finalizer, but you were back on D'Qar now. No. No, your mind was just playing tricks on you. You were safely back home... Where you belonged, and the First Order all but a distant memory now...

Or so you thought...


	6. An Unwanted Occurance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life finally begins to go back to normal on D'Qar... But can everything truly go back to the way it was? Meanwhile, you learn an eye-opening truth and something very, very strange takes place...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Chapter 6, here we go! (Actually, I wrote this three days ago, forgot to save it, and logged out of my browser so... Here's a re-write ahaha.) Hope you all enjoy, and happy reading!

Running - that was the only thing on your mind. Making sure you kept your footing at all times, you couldn't afford to trip... You ran, and ran, and ran as fast as your legs could carry you - almost as if you were running from a bloodthirsty monster... Which, you were. The second pair of footsteps sounded closely from behind you which only provoked you to run faster. "There's no where to run!" the man shouted from behind. And just as you looked back to see how far he was from where you were, you tripped on a nearby root of a tall tree. "K-Kylo, please!" you exclaimed as his signature red lightsaber ignited in the dark of the forest... Which filled you with fear - terror, one might even say. "I-It's too late. I can't stop what I've become..." he said, his voice wavering slightly whilst he inched his weapon closer, and closer. Until suddenly, he rose his lightsaber and just as he was about to strike...

You awoke. 

And thank heavens you did... Sweat trickled down your forehead as you caught your breath in your bed, just like you had been for the past two mornings in a row! Why was that forest so... So familiar? You've never been there, and you're pretty sure you never would go there... So why did it keep appearing in your dreams? You needed counsel. But from who-- Oh! _'General Organa!'_ you thought to yourself. Of course! She'd know what to do. The amount of sleep you've lost over the last few nights was nothing to sneeze at, and you knew you needed help - no matter how much pride you had to swallow. So with a sharp sigh, you hastily made your way into your bathroom, readied yourself for the day ahead, and practically began to sprint out the door - only to be met with a sight of Poe... Standing in the doorway, in complete silence, awaiting your presence. "Heavens, Poe! You can't keep scaring me like that!" you exclaimed, shrugging your leather jacket over your shoulders as you rushed by Poe and down the corridor, towards the command room where Leia usually was found. "I really need to change my passcode." you muttered quietly to yourself as Poe followed behind. "I was just wanting to see if you were excited about going back to work today. H-Hey, could you slow down?" he asked, grasping your elbow gently from behind as you turned to meet his gaze with tired eyes... It was obvious you haven't been sleeping well. "Woah woah woah, have you been sleeping?" he asked as he studied your face with concern. You nodded and sighed shakily as you replied: "J-Just a reoccurring dream - getting Leia's counsel about them...". "Okay. You sure you're all right?" he asked once more as you nodded affirmatively. "All right. See you out there, Captain." he said with a smirk, proceeding down the hallway and out to his X-Wing. You know, _the smirk_... The very one that made lots of the other girls on base - well - swoon. You weren't like them though and you two were just friends. So with a heavy sigh, you turned the corner and into the command room where there stood Leia, examining the many holographic maps and conversing with the other Generals and Admirals.

"E-Excuse me, General... May I have a word?" you asked, hands clasped behind your back as Leia turned to meet your gaze with a smile, dismissing the others from the room whilst she signaled to her side. "Good to see you walking, Y/N. What can I do for you?" she asked sweetly, making her all the more approachable, which helped your nerves tremendously, to say the least. "I-I've been having these... Dreams. Ren chasing me through the forest, to be exact, ma'am." you replied as Leia stood upright with a rather disturbed look painted on her face. You knew it was bad when she looked like that... "How was Ben? When you were aboard the Finalizer?" she asked suddenly... _'Uh, Ben?'_ you thought to yourself. The name didn't sound familiar at all, and it was slightly concerning. "Do you mean Kylo? I mean he - ugh. He was--" "He's my son..." Leia interrupted as all the air felt like it disappeared. "Ben - Kylo Ren - is my son." she added. Yep, you were confused out of your mind. SON?! How could HE be HER son? It was a shock, yet... Somehow, you felt it. "You know I speak the truth. Search your feelings regarding your dreams, Captain... You will know what to do." she answered vaguely, provoking you to breathe deeply before nodding your head and leave her in the silence of the room...  
  


"Search my feelings?! How on D'Qar am I supposed to do that?!" you asked yourself aloud, cranking the wrench with all your might as your hand slipped and hit the inside of your X-Wing with a sting of pain that caused you to groan. "You know, I'm pretty sure the bolt is tight enough." a voice said from behind as you turned to meet the person's gaze. It was Poe - with his arms crossed around his chest, leaning up against the wing of your ship with an amused smirk painted on his face. Uh-huh, just like Poe to be amused while watching you struggle. It was pathetic, really - but if he wasn't so... So uh... You know - handsome, it probably would have bothered you more. "What's the problem?" he asked, taking a brief look at the engine then back at you. "A hyperdrive malfunction, I believe. I think I just need to--" "Not with your X-Wing, I mean with you. What's bothering you?" he interrupted before you could even finish your reply. So with a sigh, you spilled. "I've been having these dreams ever since I got back from the Finalizer. When I went to Leia, she told me to search my feelings but all I feel is like I-I don't belong. When I was captured, Ren told me he knew who my parents were and only affirmed what I've been feeling..." you stated truthfully, watching Poe place his hands on yours in an instant. "Hey hey hey, listen to me. You have a family. Jess, Snap, BB-8... And me." he said. "We are your family. And you belong here... All right?" he added as he cupped your face in his hands, gently placing a kiss on your lips that was rather unexpected - yet welcome. Suddenly, BB-8 rolled up with a few chirps and half a dozen beeps, which beckoned Poe elsewhere with an awkward chuckle. "W-Well, duty calls. Get some rest tonight, Captain." he said with a grin that was reciprocated as you playfully half-saluted with two fingers before wiping your grease stained hands on your pants and returning to your quarters for the evening...

You slipped into your quarters with a contented sigh, tossing your tools aside as you lightly caressed your lips - recalling the sweet kiss Poe so delicately planted. You and Poe weren't 'official' - and you both liked it that way. It made the whole 'not-knowing-if-you'll-come-back' situation whenever one, or both of you left on a mission easier. Besides, every girl on base flirted with Poe - and what can you say? Poe did quite a bit of flirting himself, but he did make you feel special. So with your delightful thoughts in mind, you kicked off your shoes and sat on your bed whilst you began cleaning your blaster... Although you wished you could've kept your mind on Poe's kind gesture, you thought about what Leia said... Search your feelings. You asked yourself how you could do just that - until - everything... Stopped.

Silence. The clock on the wall stopped ticking and all you heard was - a breath. With one swift motion, you turned and fired your blaster at him - Kylo Ren. Only, it didn't penetrate him... It hit the wall. And with a slight gasp from the unmasked man, he began to speak.

 _'How are you doing this?'_ he asked, his voice echoing all around you as the pace of your breath increased.

"M-Murderer!" you exclaimed.

 _'Strong words... Can you see my surroundings?'_ asked Kylo. _'I can't see yours.'_

"I-I'm not doing anything." you replied quietly as you tried to process how in the world this was happening - and if it was a dream or not.

 _'Of course you aren't. It would take a Jedi half their lifetime to achieve this... You're nothing but a pilot.'_ he stated in that strange mono-tone voice as he asked, _'Have you given more thought to my offer?'_.

"Why would I? You're a murderer, a liar, and a traitor... Ben Solo." you answered defiantly as he stood upright in an instant with anger.

 _'That isn't my name.'_ he said, his eyes burning with fury that you'd call him by THAT name. His given name.

"Yes it is. I spoke with Leia; your mother." you replied as Kylo inched his way closer to you slowly... Like a lion closing in on it's prey.

 _'You **would** look in any and every person to feel loved... Your friends, Poe, Leia.' _he began, walking closer and closer until he was practically an inch away from you, sweat beginning to form on his brow as he towered over you... _'But why would they love an orphan?'_ he asked simply. And with that, he vanished instantly... Leaving you in the silence of your room as you wiped your brow - only to realize that wasn't YOUR sweat... It was his. How was this possible?! Being linked through the force with such a strong bond was unheard of! No. No, it must've been a dream. You were sleep-deprived, and needed to rest.

So with a shaky sigh, not even bothering to rid yourself of your greasy clothes, you crawled into bed and drifted off into a peaceful slumber - wondering what in the universe was going on...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of doing some Lord Of The Rings | The Hobbit imagines... Would anyone be interested in reading them? If so, they should be coming soon!


	7. Not a Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe attempts to convince you to join him, Jess, and Snap at the cantina after work one evening... Meanwhile, you and Kylo have another encounter through the force - or two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good evening! Here is chapter 7 for your reading pleasure! This one was pretty fun to write - and also leads into a big part of our story. Thank you so much to those who have been reading, you all are great! Happy reading!
> 
> Disclaimer/Semi-Spoiler: I added a bit of a shirtless Kylo in this chapter. (Because come on, who couldn't use a bit of a shirtless Kylo?!) Eheheh.

"Come on, Y/N! It'll be fun!" Jess exclaimed with a playful nudge of your shoulder in the meal line as you accepted the plate of food that was handed to you. "I don't know, Jess. It's not even the weekend." you replied apprehensively. Jess, Snap, and Poe were going to a cantina tonight and they tasked Jess with trying to persuade you to join in on the fun. You weren't much of a partier, or drinker, at that... Yet, she persisted. "Come on, Y/N. Dameron's going to be there!" she stated with suggestive eyebrows, provoking your eyes to widen as you waved your finger and answered: "No no. Dameron and I are just friends, Jess. Besides, I-I have work to do...". "Oh yeah? Like what?" she asked in return. "Work on my... uh..." you began as you searched for an answer, watching Jess shake her head as she simply said: "Thought so. You're going with. Period. I mean, come on! What's the worst that could happen?" she asked. Well, many MANY things could happen. From having to drag your flight-mates out of a cantina at midnight or... Having these - delusions (or so you thought they were) while you were out about Kylo. There was no telling what could happen! Stressed out already, you began stuffing your face with food to avoid further conversation. She wasn't taking you - alive, that is. "Hey, Dameron!" she exclaimed to Poe who walked in with a smile. Yep, he was in on the plan. "Hey, Jess. You coming with us tonight, Captain?" he asked sweetly as you swallowed your food and picked up your tray in one fluid motion. "I-I don't know." you replied with a light chuckle. "I r-really should be going. Uh, bye!" you stammered, returning the tray to the front as you hurried off down the corridor - not knowing you were being followed by Poe. "Hey, Y/N!" he called out as you stopped in your tracks. "Hey, Poe." you greeted him with a slight smile. "Is everything okay? I noticed you were a bit apprehensive about the idea of going to the cantina tonight..." he asked, concern painting his face as you sighed. "Y-Yeah, it's just... With the dreams and all, I don't know if I should go." you replied honestly as Poe grasped your hands gently. "It could be a good chance for you to get your mind off of it - return to normal. You know? You don't have to party or anything... Just relax." he assured you. Maybe he was right - you needed to distract yourself. And what better way to do that than to hang out with your friends? "All right." you finally agreed rather reluctantly. "Great! We're going at eight. See you then, Y/L/N." he said, shooting you a smirk before he proceeded down the corridor.

"Captain." a familiar voice called out from behind as you turned to meet the person's gaze. It was Leia, much to your surprise. "Afternoon, General. I-Is everything all right?" you asked in reply. Not everyday the General stops you in the hallway, eh? "I was told a blaster shot was heard from your room a few nights ago. Did something happen?" she asked, provoking the air in your lungs to vanish as you recalled what happened. Oh - she meant the time you thought you were hallucinating and talking to Kylo Ren? Her son? "I-I was cleaning my blaster and it went off... I didn't mean to scare anyone." you answered. Yeah, you lied. But what else could you have said? "Sorry, I was hallucinating about your son."? That would've sent the wrong message. So, with a 'hm' from Leia, she nodded her head in dismissal and you left for the hangar. 

Ah yes, this was YOUR kind of 'normal'. Fixing up your X-Wing and awaiting your orders for another mission. You couldn't wait to get up there again, back in the stars. It was the best feeling in the world to you. You wiped your greasy hands on your pants as you crossed your fingers and climbed into the cockpit of your X-Wing and fired up the engines... Yup! You still had it. "Yes!!!" you exclaimed over the hum of the engine as Poe walked by with thumbs up and his curly brown locks flowing through the wind. "Looking good, Captain!" he shouted with a smile that was reciprocated. "Thanks! She's purring like a kitten!" you replied above the engines as you shut them off, listening to them whir down. Not like an ACTUAL kitten, you knew - but you meant it in the figurative sense. As you climbed down from the cockpit, you tossed your gloves aside in triumph and sipped your canteen with a contented sigh. Suddenly - everything stopped...

Again...

"It's just a dream..." you told yourself aloud, squeezing your eyes shut. You knew who was there, you felt him...

 _'Is it?'_ he asked. Ren... ' _Is_ _it really?'_

"H-How is this possible?" you asked shakily, nothing but yours and Kylo's breaths echoing around you.

 _'It's not me. And you're not doing this, the effort would kill you.'_ he replied before adding:

 _'But - who said you aren't trying?'._ And with that, he disappeared - like a vapor.

Okay, this wasn't a dream... And the pinch you left on the back of your hand only validated that it wasn't a dream. There had to be some explanation. Should you-- no. No, Leia already had enough on her plate as it was. No need to disturb the General - not yet. You knew for a fact that you weren't trying, at least, not on purpose... He promised you so much! A teacher. Guidance. Someone to... Show you your place in all this. But you couldn't leave the Resistance, you were one of them. Besides, where would they be without their captain? So with a heavy sigh, you returned to your quarters to clean yourself up before meeting up with Snap, Jess, and Poe at the cantina...

**Meanwhile, aboard the Finalizer...**

_'You're nothing but a child in a mask...'_ the words of Snoke rang through Kylo's head... They stung - like acid in a wound. He had met with the Supreme Leader just moments ago, and it did NOT go well. Kylo stared out the window at the endless stars with tightened fists, his jaw clenched in anger. How dare Snoke refer to him like that?! He was the most powerful person in the galaxy and Snoke warned him that his equal in the light would rise. But who? Who would dare challenge him? Kylo caressed his weapon latched to his side, the activation button tempting him more and more by the moment to run the saber through anything and everything in sight. "Forgive me, grandfather... I feel it - the pull to the light." Kylo began. "Help me, please - and I will not fail you."...

**Back on D'Qar...**

You shrugged your brown leather jacket over your shoulders, laced up your boots, and fixed your hair into a decent ponytail in the mirror. _'Not bad.'_ you thought to yourself. You looked like a pilot - go figure, huh? Cantinas really weren't your thing and you weren't about to dress up for it. So, with a silent prayer that you weren't under-dressed, you headed out the door and strode over to the cantina across the way... The building was lit up in the dark with dimly colored lights and the open entrance allowed the noise of the patrons to fill the air. _'Here goes nothing.'_ you thought as you walked on inside and instantly began surveying the cantina for your friends. Soon enough, you found them. Jess, Snap, and Poe... Sitting in a booth at the far right end in the corner. Thankfully, they too, were dressed casually. Which made you feel ten times better. "Hey, Y/L/N! Saved you a spot!" Poe greeted you at once, sliding over a bit to give you room to sit - right next to him. The booth was spacious enough to let Poe rest his legs atop the corner of the table and allowed Jess to rest her's on Snap's lap. And he didn't even mind, they were best friends! So after the 'hello's' were exchanged, an odd silence fell across the booth until Jess broke it. "Snap and I are gonna get some drinks. Want anything?" she asked, glancing at you and Poe as Poe replied: "Uh, daily special.". "I'll have that too." you echoed. "All right. C'mon, Wexley!" Jess exclaimed, pulling Snap away to the bar. "Glad you could make it, Y/N." Poe said with a sweet smile that was reciprocated. "Thanks for convincing me, Poe. Uh, what are they doing?" you asked, turning your gaze to Snap who was digging through his pockets to hand Jess a $20 as she let out a triumphant laugh. "They took bets on whether you would come or not." he replied. "And what did you bet?" you asked with a raised eyebrow as Snap walked back over with Jess, slapping another $20 on the table with a groan, provoking Poe to grin as he held up the money with two fingers. "Never doubted you for a second." he stated whilst Jess gave him a high-five, making you chuckle. 

As the night went on - you, Poe, Jess, and Snap were laughing and having a great time... From sharing inside jokes to bragging about completed missions (no matter how over-dramatized they were). "So then Finn and I sped out of there just in the nick of time!" Poe exclaimed as Jess groaned. "Oh don't brag too much, Dameron. You totally left out the part when you two crashed in the Jakku desert!" she protested, provoking Poe to chuckle as he quipped back: "Hey. Still makes for a good story, Pava.". You were glad that you came that night... Spending time with your friends was just the thing you needed - no matter how much you didn't want to prove Poe right. "Ah! I love this song! Come on, Snap, let's dance!" Jess said above the new music that began to play, pulling Wexley to the dance floor as you and Poe watched and laughed in amusement. "We're surrounded by dorks, aren't we?" you asked Poe as he simply replied: "Oh, one-hundred percent.". And with that, you two burst into a fit of giggles before a new silence fell upon the room...

Not only a silence... **The silence.** No no no, this couldn't be happening. Not now! Not when you were having a good time laughing with Poe with his arm swung around your shoulder. "O-Oh no... I-I'll be right back." you managed to say. You had to get out of there. "Woah woah, was it the drink? I mean, it was pretty strong. Do you need me to come with you to help or something in case you get sick?" he asked with concern, grasping your arm gently to stay your leave as you shook your head. "N-No no, it's not that. I'll only be a minute... Stay here." you replied, pulling away as you hastened out of the cantina. As soon as you stepped outside, there it was again - the silence. You sensed him, but you couldn't see him.

"I really don't want to do this right now." you said.

 _'Yeah me too...'_ Kylo replied as you turned to meet his gaze through the force. And, well - it wasn't a sight you'd see everyday. Kylo Ren, shirtless and rather sweaty. Only dressed in his black pants with his strapping torso painfully visible. 

"Could you put on someth-- A shirt or something?" you asked, trying to advert your gaze as he just... Stood there. What. A. Tease. 

_'A cantina. I didn't think you were the type.'_ he stated.

"I'm not." you quipped back quickly.

_'You really think you're one of them? You think that they're going to accept you? Once they find out your secret they'll turn on you.'_

"That's not true!" you almost shouted, only for Kylo to smirk before a voice from behind interrupted. 

"Everything okay?" Poe asked from the entrance of the cantina with a raised eyebrow as you turned to meet his gaze with widened eyes - turning back to where you saw Kylo... Only to notice he vanished as you turned back to Poe with tears. "P-Poe, can you take me back? I-I really need someone to talk to..." you asked as Poe quickly joined your side and wrapped his arm around your shoulders to calm you. "Of course... You already know you can talk to me." he assured you, ushering you back to the base and back to your quarters.

This was going to be interesting...


	8. Trust and Conflict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You decide to open up to Poe about your encounters with Ren - paving the way for an idea that could change the fate of the Resistance... And the galaxy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8, here we go, ladies and gentlemen! This is when things really begin to speed up in our story, so I apologize if it seems like it's moving a bit fast, ahaha. Happy reading!

"Okay, tell me one more time - simpler." Poe said, sitting on the edge of your bed as you paced the floor. "I feel him. Ren. I see him and w-we talk." you replied as you writhed your fingers together nervously... There was no telling what Poe's reaction would be. "Feel him? How can you talk to him? Isn't he aboard the Finalizer?" he asked. Here goes nothing... "I-I have the force." you stammered in reply as Poe's eyes widened. "You're force-sensitive? Why haven't you told me before?" he asked, standing upright as you tried to answer - without your voice breaking. "I don't know, I thought maybe you'd... Push me away." you admitted. And without warning, he grasped your hands gently before you could even explain why. "Hey hey hey, I would never push you away... I just don't understand why you would keep such a secret from the General." he stated, provoking you to sigh (partially in relief, and partially in frustration as to why you haven't told Leia) as you began pacing the floor again. "I-I don't know how to control it, Poe! I mean, when I think I know how to use it - it just... Finds another way to remind me that I DON'T - KNOW - HOW!" you shouted in anger, as your nearby glass of water shot across the room - nearly missing Poe as it smashed into the wall and shattered into tiny pieces on the floor. Which, of course, caused Poe's eyes to widen even more. "W-Was that--?" "Like that!" you interrupted with a groan, plopping down on your bed with your head buried in your hands. "Woah..." Poe whispered under his breath as he joined your side. "What are you going to do?" he asked as you admitted: "I really don't know, Poe...". After a moment of silence, he took you by the hands and stood up - pulling you upwards with him as he gazed into your eyes. "Well, whatever you decide to do - I'll support you. I won't push you away. And maybe, just maybe, there's a reason why you see him. But for now, I want you to get some rest. Okay?" he stated, pulling you into a sweet embrace as you whispered a thank you in the crook of his shoulder. And with that, he wished you a goodnight and left you in the silence of your quarters. Soon enough, you drifted off into a peaceful sleep - thanks to Poe...

**The next day...**

You awoke the next morning with a sigh (along with a slight headache due to the strange blue drink you drank at the cantina the night before) and wasted no time getting ready for the day ahead. There was a mission briefing today and you wanted desperately to be a part of it - you were ready. Within minutes, you were done and you practically sprinted out the door when you realized you were going to be a tad late. Did you enjoy going to the cantina? Yep. Was it a mistake when you didn't take into consideration that you'd be slightly hungover? Absolutely. Plus, you spent practically the whole night talking to Poe about your secret - which you still had no clue what to do about it. Finally, you arrived at the briefing room with a breathy sigh when you noticed - they've already started. Admiral Statura had already begun speaking and there was Poe, reserving for you next to him. As if somehow he knew you were going to be late... You prayed no one noticed your arrival, but lo, and behold - Leia did. Nothing got past her! "Today's mission will be headed up by one lucky person. A captain, specifically!" Statura exclaimed as the rest of the room talked among themselves. There were a few captains, but you were certain it was going to be you. Yep! This was it! _'Lay it on me, Statura!'_ you thought to yourself as the Admiral simply stated: "Captain Briggs of the Red Squadron!" with a warm smile as a man beamed with pride...

Okay, so it wasn't you.

But why wouldn't it be?! You were the best captain and you knew it! You sighed to yourself frustratingly as Poe placed his hand gently on yours with an assuring "You'll get it next time, Y/L/N.". "I'm talking to Leia." you said, standing upright before Poe could stop you as you approached the General. "Excuse me, General. I thought it was going to be me on the mission - it was supposed to be me." you stated whilst Leia turned to meet your gaze with a sigh. "You're a great captain, Y/N. But I don't think you're ready... With these dreams you've been having..." she replied, rendering you speechless momentarily with a scoff. Not ready?! "Not ready?! General, I'm ready, I assure you. Just let me go on the mission instead of Briggs." you pleaded as Leia smiled softly and simply said: "Walk with me, Captain.". And with that, you two left the briefing room and went for a walk outside around base...

"I know your secret, Y/N." she said suddenly, making all the air in your lungs vanish. How could she have known?! "I-I don't understand. How--" "I have the force, too. My father had it, my brother had it, and I have it." she stated. Of course! How did you not figure it out sooner? Luke was a Jedi, so was Vader. So it made perfect sense that Leia was force-sensitive too. Therefore, your surprise didn't last long at all. "General-- Leia. I-I see him... Your son, Kylo. I don't know why, nor do I know what to do." you finally admitted as Leia's eyes widened slightly at the sudden news. "I sensed there was something bothering you, that's why I told Statura to assign Captain Briggs." she replied. Ah, it was all coming together now... "What do I do?" you asked, sitting down on a nearby chair as your gaze drifted to the ground. "I need to be taught - someone to show me my place in all this... Please, tell me what to do." you practically begged whilst Leia gently lifted your face for you to meet her gaze. "Search your feelings, Y/N." she said. With a frustrated scoff you stood upright and began pacing. "You keep saying that, but I don't know how! How will I know?!" you asked, throwing your hands in the air as Leia simply replied: "You'll know when you need to..." and walked away without another word - provoking you to march away back to your quarters in anger...

'Search your feelings' - the words rang through your head non-stop. And honestly? They were getting very annoying. How on D'Qar were you supposed to do that?! 

_'Her words anger you...'_ a deep voice echoed around you as you squeezed your eyes shut.

"She didn't even bother to explain." you replied. You knew it was Kylo who was talking to you - you could pinpoint that deep voice anywhere.

 _'That's why you need a teacher... But no one on D'Qar can show you the way of the Force and you know it.'_ Kylo stated as you turned to meet his gaze. You couldn't see his surroundings - just him... Sitting across the way from you as you turned over a basket and sat just inches from Kylo. 

"How did you--"

 _'You really thought I didn't know where you were?'_ he interrupted, rendering you speechless for a moment. He was - sparing you... He could've killed you when he had the chance - but he didn't.

"Why are you sparing me? What value am I to you?" you asked as Kylo looked at you with that stoic face of his which was rather intimidating.

 _'I could teach you.'_ he simply replied. No no, it was more than that - you sensed it. He wasn't just offering to teach you, there was something else... A pull. An uneasiness, even a weakness. He was conflicted. 

"You're conflicted - the dark in you is trying so hard to snuff out the last bit of light left and you know it... You don't have to be like this, Ben..." you whispered. And with a slow and gentle motion, you reached out your hand. You couldn't help it, you had to try. You could feel the conflict within him and you can tell it was pulling him apart. When you glanced down, you noticed that Kylo's hand began to inch closer - and closer - until...

He touched you.

His fingers - they were soft... Shaky... Almost as if he was afraid to hurt you. He wanted to take your hand, you felt it. And just as you were about to intertwine your fingers with his - _hiss!_ Your door opened to reveal Poe, standing in the doorway with his thumbs sticking inside his belt and the rest of his fingers clutching the outer parts of the accessory. "Uh, what's going on?" he asked, eyeing you from head to toe with your hand stretched out. You glanced over at where Kylo once sat - noticing that he wasn't there anymore. "Poe..." you began, standing upright with widened eyes as you inched your way closer to where he stood. "I know what I have to do. We have to go talk to Leia at once." you added as Poe nodded his head and followed you out into the corridor to find Leia...

Your pace was fast and urgent - determined. For the first time in your life, you searched your feelings and you knew what you had to do. It wasn't going to be easy, but you had hope... After all, that's what the Resistance was founded upon.

Right?


	9. Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Poe approach Leia about your plan - which is full of holes, but could change the course of the future for generations to come...
> 
> If it works, that is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Here's chapter 9 for your reading pleasure! I just noticed, while I was writing, I didn't give any of my chapters an official "title". So, I'll be titling the chapters today but the content will still be the same so don't freak out ahaha. Happy reading!

"Okay, slow down. Tell me one more time." Leia said with a raised hand as you sighed, took a deep breath, and re-explained the entire thing over... "When I was in my quarters, I saw Kylo - Ben. He knows where we are, Leia, and he's sparing me! W-We touched hands and I could feel the conflict within him. The light and the dark are pulling him apart..." you replied as Poe began to speak.

"Wait, why would he be sparing you? I mean, couldn't we just sneak aboard and blow the ship up?"

"He's here, Poe. Right now, on D'Qar... I have to face him." you replied. Suddenly your plan became more evident to Poe - his eyes widened.

"Wait wait wait, you're not thinking about going to him. _ALONE_... Right?" he asked as you inched your way closer and placed your hand on his cheek. 

"Poe, I have to do this... There's a conflict inside him and I could be the one to turn him back to the light."

"Or he could be the one to turn you to the darkness." he protested.

"I have to try, Poe... I-I feel like I was made for this. You said that you would support me, and I need you to do just that... Do you trust me?" you asked as Poe's eyes filled with tears. 

"I-I trust you." he simply stated, his voice wavering as a single tear rolled down his cheek. You never saw Poe cry, not even once. But you could see the fear in his eyes... "It's settled then." you said, only for Leia to stand upright and begin to protest. "I don't know--" "With all due respect, I didn't come down here to get your approval, General... I came to ask that you give my position as Captain to Pava in my absence. I would, however, prefer you to be on board with my plan." you interrupted, watching Leia's face soften at your determination... It was risky - too risky for comfort. But you knew it was the right thing to do. "All right, Captain... We're with you. When do you leave?" she asked, to which you simply replied: "Tonight.". So with a nod from Leia and from Poe, you returned to your quarters to prepare to meet Kylo...

You didn't really have need of anything certain - you weren't the kind of person who owned much anyways and you were practically giving yourself up to the enemy... _'This is how it ends.'_ you thought to yourself with a sarcastic chuckle. No. No no no, you were going into this with a confident mindset. Even though it could possibly mean you would die, you felt the conflict in Kylo and you knew that you had to try to turn him - no matter what. Why was he sparing you though? I mean, you were an orphan - a nobody, Ren even confirmed. Plus, you were a pilot in the Resistance who took down tons of First Order ships in your time... He would've killed you if you were nothing to him - right? It just made everything else confusing, and his looks? Well - they didn't exactly help you maintain a clear mind when you had an encounter with him... I mean, he was handsome - for a killer. You would drown in his eyes if you stared too long and his black hair framed his face perfectly. What? No. No! No, you weren't falling for the bad guy - that's absurd! You were doing this for Poe, Jess, Snap... And Leia. You felt the conflict in Kylo - and you were certain that you'd be the one to bring it out. Amid your thoughts and packing your bag, there was a knock at your door... It was Poe, much to your surprise. 

"I was just checking to see if you were ready - Pava, Wexley, and Leia are out on the landing pad to say their goodbyes..." Poe said, a hint of disappointment was evident in his voice. He really didn't want you to go. "Oh... 'Goodbyes'? I-I'm sure it won't be goodbye." you replied quietly, buckling your bag. You were, in truth - a bit disappointed yourself. You wished that Poe came to bid you his own goodbye. "Oh to heck with it." he stated abruptly as he pulled you in by your wrist and clashed his lips with yours.

Wow.

He shoved you against the wall and placed his hands on both sides of your face, deepening the kiss with... Eagerness. As if he had been wanting to do that for the longest time. Time seemed to have stopped - and it was only you and Poe in the world... That is, until you both had to break slowly for air. "I'm ready now..." you whispered, feeling Poe's hot breath course down your neck as he nodded silently and handed you your bag - following you out to the runway. This was it... You lifted your face to feel the wind in your hair that was loosely tied back in a low ponytail - knowing that it could very well be the last time you'd be able to walk out onto that air strip if not ever, certainly for a long while. You'd miss D'Qar. The cloudless skies and blissful breeze... And your friends. Jess and Snap had tears in their eyes when you approached them and pulled them in for a bone-crushing embrace. "Do you have to go?" Jess whispered, provoking you to pull away with a teary-eyed smile as you replied: "Hey, it'll be okay... You'll be just fine - Captain." and saluted with two fingers and a light chuckle. Snap wasn't one for goodbyes, he never really was... That left Leia - with tear filled eyes and clutching something in hand. "General." you stated as Leia chuckled. "Only Leia, Y/N... I have something for you." she replied, opening her hand to reveal a necklace - and on it, strung a single Kyber Crystal. "A symbol of our faith in you - and our love." she added as you slipped the necklace over your head and around your neck, tucking it under your shirt whilst you pulled her into a sweet embrace. "May the Force be with you, always..." she whispered to which you began to reply: "And with you--" - only to be interrupted by roar of a First Order ship... Ren's Ship. And almost instantly, Resistance operatives had begun cocking their weapons and aiming at the ship as it landed. "HOLD YOUR FIRE!" you shouted above the engines of the ship, watching the people lower their blasters one by one. And with a _hiss_...

Out stepped Kylo Ren... 

His black locks flowed freely in the wind and his eyes were cold, sharp - fixed on you and you alone. He stood speechless as you inched your way closer, closer, and closer - until you stood practically an inch away from the man. And with a curt nod, he led the way into the ship as you followed in silence... You couldn't look back - not now. Because you knew that if you did, you wouldn't go... And this was something - a sacrifice - that you had to do on your own...

As the ship took off back into the stars, you sat on a seat in the hold area across from Kylo - he didn't have his mask on, which was quite a surprise... But yet, your gaze lingered to the floor as you thought back to D'Qar and your friends... "There wasn't much left for you there, anyway." Kylo began, standing upright as your eyes widened at his sudden statement. "Trust me, you'll see." he added as he disappeared into elsewhere of the ship - leaving you in the darkness of the cargo hold...

Alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sincerest apologies if it was a bit short - Chapter 10 will be here soon!!


	10. A Warm Welcome...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're taken aboard the Finalizer and settle into your newfound quarters. Meanwhile, Poe has a hard time with you being gone...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good afternoon, everyone! Chapter 10 is now published! If you enjoy reading don't forget to "toss a kudo to your writer" (ahaha)/leave a comment!
> 
> Happy reading!

Kylo's ship hummed as it made it's landing on the pad in the Finalizer... Last time you were here - you were a prisoner, beaten to a pulp by Hux, and scared out of your mind... Not unlike now, as far as the fear. The ship door hissed open and Kylo stepped out from the darkness with you following close behind - every stormtrooper was standing in single file on the left and right, and General Hux was standing to the side along with a few other admirals and operatives with a disapproving sneer. Talk about shudder. As Kylo stopped (probably for dramatic effect, you didn't know), you raised an eyebrow. No cuffs? No soldiers taking you to a cell instantly upon arrival? "Aren't you going to cuff me?" you asked as Kylo turned to meet your gaze as his eyebrows furrowed. "You don't need them - you're my guest." he stated with a simple: "Follow me.". And with that, you followed him into the Finalizer - through the metal corridors (chiefly black, red, and grey colored) and bustling halls. 

Things began to get a little unfamiliar... The hallways wound on and on and you would've lost your way if Kylo hadn't led you. Soon, he stopped at a door - typing in a few numbers it whirred open, revealing what was your new quarters... An open room with a large glass reaching up at the vaulting - allowing a beautiful sight of the endless universe of stars and passing planets. And in that room there was a bed - larger than the one you had back at D'Qar, with black sheets and red pillows along with silks atop the posts. And of course, a sleek washroom. Wow. Amid your thoughts, Kylo grasped the bag from your hand and rummaged through it - provoking you to reach. "Give me that." you demanded as Kylo passed it to a nearby stormtrooper in one fluid motion. "You won't be needing those." he stated. "Your new clothes are in your wardrobe and your meal will be here soon." he added as you turned to gaze at the stars with a simple: "I'm not hungry.". "You will eat regardless, am I understood?" he ordered, provoking you to meet his glare with a raised eyebrow. "Why did you spare me? You could've killed me when you had the chance but you didn't. Why?" you asked in return. Quite uncommon for the bad guy - sparing the enemy. But Ren didn't reply. He only glared for a brief moment then - left... What a warm welcome. 

With a sigh, you sat atop the velvet sheets of the bed... It was definitely finer than what you were used to, but being on the Dark Side now wasn't worth it. You wished you were back at D'Qar - but little did you know, someone else was wishing the very same thing...

**Meanwhile, on D'Qar...**

"Come on, Dameron. You have to eat something." Jess said, scooting Poe's plate of food closer - only for him to scoot it away again. "I can't eat, Jess. I-I'm not hungry..." he replied quietly as he took another sip of his drink. "You can't just keep drinking, Poe. You need food." Jess protested. "I said I'm not hungry!" he shouted in reply, taking Jess and Snap by surprise as he stormed out of the room... It wasn't fair - you giving yourself up. Sure, he trusted you but he still thought it was a bad idea. He walked out of the building and grumbled to himself sorrowfully, cursing himself for letting you just give yourself away to Ren. He kicked nearly every rock in sight - that is, until the last hit the foot of a person in front of him. Leia. "O-Oh. Sorry, General." he stated as Leia turned to meet his gaze with a soft smile. "Is something bothering you, Commander?" she asked, provoking Poe to sigh as he stuck his hands in his pockets. She knew he was bothered - but she wanted to hear him say it. "It's Y/N... Leia, how could you let her go?" he asked in return as he sat on a nearby log, burying his face in his hands whilst Leia joined him in taking a seat. "She knew what she was doing. She's - smart." she replied simply as Poe asked: "But how do we even know she's safe?" with tear-filled eyes... Yup, he blamed himself. "She's safe, Poe... I can feel it." she whispered, gazing up at the stars as Poe followed her eyeline. "I just hope she comes back to us soon...." he stated. "I do too. But until she returns, your soldiers need you, Commander." she replied, standing upright as Poe did the same with a sigh - regaining his composure with a sharp inhale. "Can I count on you to lead them without Y/N?" she asked. "Yes, General - You can." he answered, turning away before Leia added: "That doesn't mean you can't miss her, Poe... But she would want you to do your duty - with or without her here. For Y/N.". And with that, Poe nodded affirmitavely before whispering, "For Y/N..." and returning back to base headquarters to eat... Perhaps, he really was hungry. 

**Back on the Finalizer...**

You stepped out of your washroom in fresh clothes - a nearly skin-tight black mid-sleeve shirt and black pants. It was, in your opinion, too dark. But what else would you expect from the dark side? As you admired yourself in the mirror, you weren't exactly impressed.... You looked different already and it hadn't even been a full day aboard the Finalizer. Amid your thoughts, your door whooshed open and revealed Hux - his hands clasped behind his back and that nearly emotionless face. "Ah, I see you've settled in..." he stated, the door closing behind him as he circled you, examining you from head to toe with a smirk. _'Really, does he have to be so creepy about it?'_ you thought to yourself until he stopped and took a breath before speaking. "Tomorrow begins your training with Prince Ren and--" "Wait, training? What would I be training for?" you interrupted, provoking Hux's eyes to widen in anger. "You will do well to remember to never interrupt me again." he began before adding: "The stormtroopers will be here early tomorrow morning to escort you to the training room... You will address him by "Commander", "Your Highness", and "Sir". Am I understood?" he asked sharply as you nodded your head in silence. Training? What on earth for? You didn't even know why you were brought here in the first place - what purpose you served for Ren. But you sensed you wouldn't like it very much... "Besides." Hux spoke up, taking his gloved hand under your chin and moving your head slightly to the right - then left with a devilish smirk. "You wouldn't want this pretty face to be beaten to a pulp again, would you?" he asked as you jerked your head away and watched Hux leave with a scoff and not another word. 

So, with a saddened sigh, you walked over to your window and gazed out over the vast sea of stars... Each glistening brightly and fading in and out of view whilst the Finalizer moved through space. You were lonely. But the stars somehow provided you with a little bit of - company. 

_'I thought you'd like the stars.'_ a deep voice echoed around you... Kylo's voice.

Really? Now? You were on his ship, for crying out loud! _'Why doesn't he just pay me a visit himself?! I'm on his ship!'_ you thought to yourself with annoyance. Why was this happening? Or, a more appropriate question... _How_ was this happening?

"The light is comforting." you simply stated. 

_'You'll see in time that you don't need it. The light is weak. And in time, the light succumbs to the darkness and flickers out.'_ he replied coldly, rendering you speechless momentarily. 

"As long as there is light, there is hope." you protested but to no avail... 

_'And what happens when that light gives into the darkness? Where is your hope then?'_ he asked in reply before vanishing into the night air. 

Kylo was, to say the least, quite convincing... He could get into your head so easily, it was scary. It was safe to say you weren't exactly excited about your training session with him in the morning, but nevertheless, you slipped under the velvety soft sheets of your new bed and stared up at the ceiling...

You clutched your crystal that was strung on the necklace hung around your neck as you thought of your friends back on D'Qar. Leia, her optimism and hope... Jess and Snap, oh how many shenanigans you three got up to when no one was around, hah! And Poe... His support in any decision you made and that kiss he planted on your lips just a few days back that you would reminisce about more often than naught. Everything you loved about your life in the Resistance, you thought of. 

But you were doing this for them. For Leia, Jess, Snap, and Poe... However painful it was seemed to fade away - because you knew that if you didn't do this, it would mean their freedom and their lives. And with these thoughts in mind, you drifted off into a deep slumber - giving no thought for the morrow as your mind stayed on those you loved...


	11. First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's your first "official" day aboard the Finalizer and you begin your training with Ren...
> 
> And you make a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! So, for this chapter I wanted to try and add a little bit of a "Finn and Poe" friendship element... I don't know if it worked out, hopefully you all can let me know. If you like what you read, don't forget to subscribe and happy reading!

Your eyes fluttered open the next morning as you sat upright and sighed sleepily - your eyes widening briefly at your surroundings until you remembered... Yeah, you gave yourself away to the First Order just a little over 12 hours ago. That explained the still rather unfamiliar territory that was your new quarters. As you surveyed the room, you noticed a black outfit atop a hanger that wasn't there the evening before. Intrigued by the article of clothing, you inched your way closer as you admired the material and design. A black (who knew?!) one-piece, skin-tight jumpsuit like outfit with a single dark grey flap at the chest. "Black. How would I have ever guessed?" you asked yourself sarcastically aloud, grabbing the clothing off the metal hanger as you trudged into your washroom to change...

Soon enough, you were done and stepped out of the washroom in your training apparel. It almost fit like a glove, besides a few things here and there but it wasn't anything major. You could move decently. You braided your hair nice and tightly and allowed the length to cascade down your back in one fluid motion... Perfect for a training session, although you wished you didn't have to partake in any First Order business. You slipped on the boots provided and examined your full ensemble in the mirror once more. You didn't feel like getting criticized for any detail being out of place since being aboard the Finalizer was already rough as it was. And lastly, you tucked in the necklace Leia gave you under the fabric of the suit and safely out of sight. Yep, you sank into your thoughts again about D'Qar - as was often your way... But the whoosh from the doorway rudely interrupted your thoughts and you turned to meet the stormtroopers' gazes as one opened a pair of cuffs. "Commander Ren is waiting." the soldier stated simply under his mask as you placed your hands in the metal cuffs and was escorted out and away from your quarters to the training room.

The walk was rife with trepidation - you didn't know what to expect! And while you were calm on the outside, there was a storm underneath. Was Kylo going to try and kill you? What was he training you for? What was your purpose?! All these questions filled your head one by one until finally - you were there... Quicker than you would've liked, I might add. You would've tried to escape the soldier's grasp on the walk to the room but there was no where for you to escape. You would've needed a pilot - and you were pretty darn sure there wasn't a second Finn or Poe under that stormtrooper armor. But your thoughts came to an abrupt halt as the door whooshed open, revealing an empty room dimly lit by the lights above and red tapestry hung on the walls with the First Order symbol... Delightful. However, there was no one present - just you. And with that, you were uncuffed and left in the silence of the room, nothing but the hum of the spacecraft as your company. Only you, a rack of shiny metal weapons, and an open area... The rack of weapons caught your eye - the bright red colors and strange blades were, in fact, beautiful. As you inched your way closer, you reached out your hand to pick up one of the weapons, only to be stopped by a deep voice from behind...

"What are you doing?" a voice asked from behind in the shadows, provoking you to retreat your hand as you quickly turned to meet the man's gaze - Kylo's gaze. "What are these?" you asked in return as he stepped into the light, unmasked, which was quite a relief. You didn't like talking to him when he wore the mask, what did he have to hide? "Weapons, used by the Elite Praetorian Guard..." he replied. Your eyes widened at his statement. The **Red Guard**? The ones that protected Palpatine AND Snoke?! These were impressive. "This is a Bilari electro-chain whip." he began, picking a staff from the rack as he jerked it in one fluid motion whilst the staff instantly turned into a crackling whip. "Wow... Which one will I be using?" you asked as Ren stiffened the weapon once more and put it back in it's place. "You won't be using any of these." he replied simply, standing in the middle of the room as you cocked an eyebrow. This was training, right? Where's the weapons? "The clothes - do they fit well?" he asked. As if he would be concerned if they did or didn't! "A bit tight around the waist." you quipped. You didn't feel like giving him the satisfaction of an _"Oh yes, they fit wonderfully!"_ kind of answer. "Hm. Sit." he ordered, pointing to the ground in front of him as you instantly obeyed - crossing one leg over the other in the middle of the floor. "Close your eyes..." he instructed whilst you did as you were told. Sitting and closing your eyes... Nothing too bad, but where was the actual training?! You were eager to use a weapon - and maybe even use it against him one day. A long silence passed and Kylo just stood there - towering over you as you squinted open your eyes and glared up at the height before you. Being this close to him was... Too close to be comfortable. "Close your eyes." he demanded. "I don't see the big deal. What does this have to do with training? When do I use a weapon?" you asked with a groan as Kylo sighed under his breath. "All right then, stand up." he instructed as you stood upright in an instant, smirking to yourself as you straightened your clothes.

Without warning, Kylo swung a crackling chain at your head with great strength - nearly missing you as you ducked quickly with a gasp. "W-What are you--" you began, only to stop mid-sentence as Kylo tossed his lightsaber at your feet. What was he doing? "Take it." he said. "Go ahead, take it... You know you want to." he repeated. Slowly, you reached down and took his weapon in your hands - igniting the saber as it whooshed on. The handle vibrated in your shaky grasp and you held it upright, pointing the end towards Kylo as he swung the electrifying chain around once again. You dodged the attack and thrust the lightsaber towards the darkly-dressed man as he ducked swiftly with a slight... Chuckle? All you wanted to do was plant the saber in his chest at this point. "Come on. Run me through." he said, provoking you to huff with anger through your teeth as you let out a furious scream and began your running approach. And just as you rose the lightsaber to strike him down - he swung his arm around and wrapped the chain around the light of the saber... Pulling you closer - and closer - until you can feel the crackling of the electricity and his hot breath on your face. You caught his gaze, his eyes locked with yours and slowly - he forced you to the ground without breaking eye contact... Such control under the circumstances. Nearly losing yourself in his entrancing glare, you noticed that he had forced you to the floor... As did he. And as you both came to a halt - acknowledging that you were under submission - you deactivated the lightsaber and caught your breath whilst Kylo caught his and retreated to the weapons rack. "Your hands - unsteady and you don't plant your feet. You need a teacher and you will submit to my teaching, am I clear?" he asked somberly as you stood upright and nodded your head. "Yes, sir..." you replied quietly. It was humiliating, being brought to your knees by Kylo. You were stubborn - but when it came to him? Everything somehow dissipated, but Kylo seemed to remained un-phased by everything. "E-Excuse me, Your Highness." a voice stated from the doorway as Kylo turned to gaze. It was Hux. "The... Pilot, is expected in the processing room. If you two are done here..." he added, provoking Kylo to nod slightly and turn away - almost in dismissal as Hux left off to who knows where, leaving you in the silence of the room before heading out into the corridor to meet the soldiers who then cuffed you and led you away to the processing room...

Processed for what, you weren't entirely sure... It didn't exactly sound pleasant. And like every other hallway, you would've gotten lost if you weren't escorted. "Are the cuffs really necessary?" you asked yourself aloud. "You don't have anywhere to run off to. They're of little use." a voice said from behind, provoking you to turn back to gaze but no one there besides the trooper escorting you. You could've swore you heard another woman, but you weren't sure. "Exactly-- wait, what?" you asked, turning another corner as the soldier simply said: "We're here." and brought you to the door. As the soldier typed a few numbers into the security system, you caught a glimpse of the faint writing on the storm-trooper armor. EM-2490. Huh. But your slight amusement didn't last for long. "The Resistance pilot is here for processing." the soldier stated, still confusing you for a moment because you could've swore it was a girl behind the mask. "Just behind the door." the woman behind the counter said with almost a sneer as you made your way through the second metal door - alone. 

"Name?"

"Y/N Y/L/N." you replied to the man.

"Wrist." the man simply said, holding out his hand as you placed yours on his. And without warning, he placed a scorching iron on your skin with a _'sizzle'_. You took a deep breath through your teeth, trying not to scream at the searing pain. "Welcome to the First Order, Y/N." he stated curtly. And a fine welcome at that! You gazed down at your blistered wrist, watching the First Order symbol come through the redness. "Does everyone have this?" you asked, to which the man rudely replied: "Mm." with a nod of his head. Great, now you were branded for the First Order! This day really wasn't the best you've had... So with a shaky sigh, you left the room and were met with the sight of the same stormtrooper, EM-2490, awaiting your arrival. The soldier placed the cuffs around your wrists - the cold metal slightly burning the branded area as you winced with pain and was escorted back to your quarters. "I thought all the storm troopers were guys." you stated, making your way through the hallways with the soldier as she simply replied: "Not all of us."... It was surprising, to say the least. Yet, it was welcomed. As you neared your door, you slowed your pace and turned to meet the masked soldier's gaze. "What's your name?" you asked as the trooper simply replied: "EM-2490.". Really? They didn't even have real names? "Well since I'm staying, I'm not using it... EM, huh? Em. I'm gonna call you Em, is that all right?" you asked in return. And with one fluid motion, the stormtrooper removed their mask to reveal a woman - your age - with dark skin and brown curly hair. Practically another Finn, but much prettier. "I've never had a name before... I like it. What's yours?" she asked with raised eyebrows, provoking you to grin. "Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N, and glad I could help." you replied sweetly.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N."

"Good to meet you too, Em." you stated. And after a friendly handshake (pretty friendly for a stormtrooper, no?), you left into your quarters and Em slipped back on her mask and disappeared around the corner before anyone noticed...

**Elsewhere aboard the Finalizer...**

Kylo entered the darkened conference room in silence... His hands clasped behind his back as Snoke appeared in the hologram - provoking Kylo to bow on one knee. "How is our newest member?" Snoke asked as Kylo lifted his head to respond.

"She is - strong."

"Controlled?"

"No. I challenged her and she wouldn't hold back..." Kylo stated. 

"Good... Good... I hope, for your sake, that you do not fail me, Commander." Snoke replied as Kylo bowed his head once more before the hologram fizzled off. Failure was not a word in Kylo Ren's vocabulary, nor did he ever plan for it to be. He was persuasive - convincing... He only needed to wait for the right moment...

You slipped your black nightgown over your head and watched the length fall to your feet - definitely one of the finer pieces of clothing you weren't used to... And it was for sleeping! Why you were given such fanciful things, you were uncertain. You were nothing but a pilot for the Resistance - a bargaining chip. You thought for sure they would give you tattered clothes, or at least make you keep your own. But nonetheless, you were unhappy. You felt like you didn't belong, even if you made a new friend. And your sadness was nearly unbearable - so much so that you began to cry... First one tear, then two. Which turned into quiet sobs and almost verbal wishes of how you wanted to be back home with those who loved you. All you had was - the stars. 

"Why are you crying?" a voice asked from behind, startling you as you turned to meet the stranger's gaze. Only it wasn't a stranger, it was Kylo Ren. "You cry over them? The pilots who you call your 'friends'?" he asked once more almost in disapproval. "T-They _are_ my friends. A concept I'm sure is quite unfamiliar to you." you quipped back, half-expecting Kylo to force-choke you and just end your suffering there... You wouldn't have minded, honestly. "You're nothing to them. You come from nothing, you're nothing." he replied. _'Wow, he sure knew how to make a girl feel better.'_ you thought to yourself sarcastically.

"But not to me." he added.

Uh, I'm sorry. WHAT? "W-What--?" "Close your eyes." he stated, provoking you to raise an eyebrow as he repeated: "Go ahead, close them.". So, apprehensively you closed your eyes - feeling Kylo inch his way closer to where you stood. He sifted through your mind, you felt him. No emotion or thought left unnoticed, and every insecurity painfully visible to the man...

"You're so lonely..." he began to whisper, his gaze dropping to your chest, watching it rise and fall with each breath you took then back up to your face. "An orphan, sold off for drinking money and left alone." 

"They didn't." you protested. 

"No no, you know it's true. Don't bother denying it... You long to be accepted - loved, even..." he whispered until he was practically an inch away from you, his hot breath coursed down your neck as tears began to fall from your eyes. "W-why?" you managed to speak out. 

"Why what?..." he asked. "Why what? Say it." he asked once more. "Why did they - w-why did they leave me?" you stammered between quiet sobs as Kylo sighed. "They didn't appreciate you... They saw the power rising up in you and feared it - hated it, even... But not me." he replied quietly - smoothly... Almost reassuringly. And just as you took a deep breath, Kylo's hands gently brushed yours as he went to swipe a few strands of your hair out of your face.

"Use it... The sadness, the anger... Feel it..." he whispered, provoking you to do exactly that as your eyes squeezed tighter...

_'Why did they leave you?' 'You were only a child - harmless.' 'Parents don't leave their children...' 'Why couldn't they just love you?!'_

The thoughts rang through your mind... Each one as painful as the last - like acid in a wound. Every ounce of sadness and anger you buried deep inside - you felt. Suddenly, the lights above began to flicker and the pitcher of water atop your table began to shake - which attracted Kylo's attention... And without warning, your mirror on the wall... **Shattered**. The tiny pieces of glass falling from the frame as the lights began to flicker and pop out - provoking your eyes to open in surprise.

**What. Just. Happened?**

"W-What just happened?" you asked, turning to meet Kylo's stoic gaze as he looked at the shattered mirror - then back at your tear-filled gaze. You were scared... "I-I... I don't know what happened..." you began to say whilst tears streamed down your face in horror at your power... The same power you've been longing to control. The room began to spin - everything looked fuzzy and all of a sudden...

Everything went black.

Your legs gave way under you and you collapsed...

...crap.


	12. A Weapon and a Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your training with Kylo Ren resumes after a strange night in your quarters and you finally are told your purpose for being aboard the Finalizer... After the session, you get to talk to someone new...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Chapter 12 is *finally* published! I hope you guys enjoy (especially since most of the story is finally starting to come together in my head ahaha). Happy reading!

You awoke the next morning - atop your bed with the velvet sheets up to your collar-bone and your hands folded nicely over your stomach. What the heck happened last night? Um... Let's see what you remember.

Crying, you remember that. Kylo Ren - in your room, no matter how creepy that sounded you remember that too... Some flickering lights and boom, you were gone. But you don't remember hitting the ground, nor did you feel any pain from an impact. How could that have--

WAIT. 

Did he - Kylo Ren - did he catch you? I mean, yeah that was nice of him... But he was - gentle. For a bad guy, that is. Suddenly, more memories of the night before started to flood your mind. The way he talked to you, the way he nearly held you... And the feelings he brought out. 

The anger.

The hatred. 

The sadness...

All of it. Until you remembered one other thing - you had another day of training ahead of you and you were certain that you were already late... So with a sharp sigh, you hastily changed into your uniform and headed to the training room. No stormtroopers to escort you? Kylo must've known that you couldn't run away - not when the fate of the Resistance was in your hands... With all this in mind, you finally found your way and instantly went inside.

Instead of being met with an empty room - you were met with the sight of Kylo... His back facing the door whilst he stared into nothingness. "What happened last night?" you asked, Kylo not moving an inch with his hands clasped behind his back. "Did you sleep well?" he simply asked in return as you scoffed. Sleep well?! What kind of question was that?! "No! No, I didn't sleep well. Nor have I been since I arrived! I-I don't know what I'm doing here, what I'm training for, or what happened last night! I wish someone would explain at least one of these things!" you exclaimed in anger, provoking Kylo to turn to face you in an instant... His gaze locked with yours and you dared not look away - it was too.. Entrancing. Sorry, but there wasn't a better word you could think of. "You're my guest. And I am in need of a guard - what you are training for." he began, your eyes widening at the statement. "And last night, you opened your mind to a higher power - a part of the Force the Jedi will never understand or hope to control... The dark side." he added. 

Okay, **hold up**. You were here - training to be his guard?! Wow, this day just got far more interesting. "Your guard?" you asked, watching Kylo proceed to the weapons rack as he simply replied: "That's right.". Kylo picked up a staff, admiring the weapon before snapping it in two as it crackled. "This will be your weapon. "Vibro-Abir Blades". Extraordinary, aren't they?" he asked, eyeing the weapons as he handed them to you. To which you replied: "Yeah... Extraordinary..." with a hint of sarcasm. "Come on then." he stated as he picked the second pair of vibro-abir blades from the rack. "Go on, try to kill me." he added in that mono-tone voice... You couldn't tell if that was a challenge or plea - maybe it was both, who knew? So with a sharp sigh - you lunged yourself at the man with all your might - swinging the blades at his head but missing him whilst he dodged, provoking you to stumble past him as he almost smirked. "You're using too much of your strength, you need to control it." he instructed as you scoffed. "I thought the dark side was all about not controlling." you stated as he simply replied: "There will be times - you will see - where you still need to control your strength. Again.". And with that, you took a deep breath before you swung the blades over your head and clashed them with his - planting your feet as you pushed downwards on his blades with yours. "Hm." he said under his breath, ducking and spinning out of the way before the blades could make it even five inches to his skin. Suddenly, he wrapped his arm around your neck from behind - placing you under his control whilst practically choking you as you began to pant for air. "Surprise - is key." he said between breaths, flexing his muscle to constrict your airway. Show-off... "You're right." you stated, stepping on his foot with the heel of your boot as he released you from his grasp with a grunt. "Now..." you began as you brought the blades to his throat with a smirk. "What were you saying about 'surprise'?" you asked. Without warning, Kylo swept your feet out from under you with one swift motion of his legs - causing you to fall flat on your back with all the air knocked out of your lungs. 

"Your comments are amusing - unlike your skill." he insulted, looking down on you from the towering height that was he... Talk about an insult. "You have much more to learn, I will see you tomorrow for another session." he added, dismissing you from his presence as you snapped the weapon back together and began your departure with it in hand. "And you trust that I won't fight my way out and escape?" you called out in question from the doorway as he turned to meet your gaze, emotionless. "You're smart - you wouldn't." he replied, rendering you speechless as you returned to your quarters in silence...

Of course, you were watched practically every corner you turned - but you weren't followed by stormtroopers... Which was nice. So with an exhausted sigh, you entered your room and set the weapon on your bed... Only to be scared out of your skin by a figure sitting at your table. "Is this your boyfriend?" a woman asked as you stepped closer - the light revealing Em, out of her stormtrooper uniform - much to your surprise. "I'm... Not supposed to be here." she added as you took a look at the picture in her hand of Poe that she found in your drawer. "Oh, n-no he's not my... Boyfriend. How did you get in here?" you asked in return. "I'm the girl that used to mop it. So you're the pilot?" she asked as you nodded. "I never met a Resistance fighter pilot before." she added, provoking you to grin. "Yeah well. This is what we look like... Most of us. Some look a bit different but yeah." you replied. "I heard you came from D'Qar... What was it like?" she asked, leaning forward in suspense as you sat across from her with a sigh. "It... It was beautiful. You will never see bluer skies, or greener grass. It was the people though, that made it the most beautiful." you answered truthfully. "Tell me about them." she said. Why was she so curious about the Resistance? "I had three friends. Jess, Snap, and Poe... Four, if we're including BB-8 - Poe's droid. A little before I left, we went to the cantina and just sat and talked for hours... Jess and Snap got a bit tipsy, but that didn't surprise me or Poe. We would all sit together and eat in the Mess Hall often too, it was great..." you stated. "Why are you being so nice to me?" you asked, provoking Em's face to turn solemn as she simply replied: "Because it's the right thing to do.". Such honesty and kindness was refreshing, to say the least. And it was nice to know that you had a friend. "Plus, you gave me a name... Never had one of those before." she added as you two laughed amongst yourselves... That was the first time you smiled - even laughed - since you arrived at the Finalizer. And for that brief moment, in your newfound quarters, you were...

Happy. 

Soon enough, Em sneaked back out to her room and you were left alone - again... The servants brought your food to your room, you ate, and... Everything was just like before - lonesome. This would usually be the time when Jess and Snap would waltz into your quarters and pull you off elsewhere, but you knew that wasn't going to happen this time. So what else was there left to do but train more? And with that idea, you slipped out of your quarters with your chain whips in hand and through the vast, almost endless halls until you reached the training room. 

Everything was silent... You were the only one in the room and you were beginning to get used to the feeling of being alone - although it still sort of hurt. You clutched the stiffened whip in your hand - jerking it in one fluid motion as the crackling began and the electricity began to flow throughout the weapon. Yep, this was your kind of weapon! You swung the whip at the head of an enemy of your fancy - dodging the unseen opponent's thrust of their fighting weapon with a grunt. Control, Kylo instructed earlier... You still had to control yourself. It wasn't as easy in more delicate clothes - but you were more than capable. A swing here, a dodge there, you were nearly golden! Except for that. One. Thrust... You were going for a final attack when you felt something...

A presence.

It wasn't Hux, or a stormtrooper... You knew exactly who it was.

"How long have you been here?" you called out in question as the man stepped forward, stone-faced and dressed in his usual black robes and clothes underneath. "Long enough to see that you didn't plant your feet and that your weapon almost slipped out of your grasp." Kylo replied... Why was he here? To insult you yet again? "If you're going to insult me, please get it over with so I can get back to training." you stated as Kylo inched his way closer to where you stood. "I insulted you earlier to humble you - here, let me show you..." he began, standing behind you as he reached around with his arms and guided yours with his. "Your fingers around the front of the handle," he added whilst wrapping his fingers around the handle with yours and parting your feet with him saying: "And your feet planted.". He didn't let go of your hands... Instead, he swung your hands back and forth with an occasional jerk of the whip - provoking a 'crack' to echo throughout the walls. "Oh, thank you I--" you began, only to stop midway by Kylo meeting your gaze as you both slowly relaxed your hands. "I... I-- uh..." you attempted to finish... But your words dissipated into thin air and you were left with the silence of the room and only the sounds yours and Kylo's heavy breaths. You suddenly became dizzy... Your hands began to shake lightly and your footing in an awkward position whilst your upper body was in the grasp of Kylo.

"You're trembling..." he stated, barely above a whisper as your eyes fluttered. 

"A-Am I? Oh, I-I'm--"

"No need to apologize." he interrupted stoically, steadying your feet as you regained your composure to the best of your ability. "Are you all right?" he asked. Uh, why would he be concerned for your well-being? This night was getting weirder and weirder... You needed something, _anything_ , to change the atmosphere. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife... "For your first mission, you will be accompanying me to Canto Bight tomorrow. There is an arms dealer I must meet with and you will be in attendance, am I clear?" he asked as you nodded affirmatively. "Your uniform for the journey and evening gown are awaiting in your quarters as we speak. I suggest you pack your belongings." he added. His statement made you cock an eyebrow... _'I'm sorry, evening what-now?'_ you thought to yourself in confusion as you bowed and returned to your quarters in silence...

And just as Kylo said, your clothes laid atop your bed... One outfit neatly folded, and the other wrapped in a black cloth. But there was something else that caught your eye as well - a holder for your electro-chain whip staff that fit across your chest and had a pocket at the back to hold your weapon... Heavy, made of fine materials, no doubt. Suiting for a guard. And with that, you packed your things (you didn't have much to bring anyway) and hastily slipped under the sheets of your bed...

Tomorrow was going to be a long, long day.


	13. Missions, Sandwiches, and Old Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your first mission as Kylo Ren's guard commences - and it's not entirely what you expected. Meanwhile, you run into a familiar face while on your mission in Canto Bight...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! Okay, this chapter was pretty fun to write (and quite exciting, I might add), so I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! It might be a bit long, and for that I sincerely apologize ahaha.
> 
> Happy reading!

The next morning came sooner than you expected and you woke up early like usual... You wanted to make sure each and every detail was precise. If you were Ren's guard, you were going to look your best. Slipping on your guard uniform, you admired it in the mirror whilst touching up the final details of your hair... A sleek high-ponytail with the length of your hair cascading past your weapon sitting in it's holster on your back. You looked like a fighter - intimidating, at least in your opinion. You told yourself that you were ready for today's mission - but really? You weren't. Being aboard the Finalizer was tense enough, but guarding a killer was another matter entirely. Did Kylo really need a guard? I mean, come on! The guy is practically a Sith, for heavens' sake! But, what else could you do about your situation? At least you served some sort of purpose - no matter if it went against your morals or not...

**Meanwhile, on D'Qar...**

Poe was never one to worry. In fact, he was usually the optimistic one - but when it came to you being aboard the Finalizer? He worried... **A lot**. Almost every thought he had was of you - or how you were doing - or if you were even alive. His thoughts rambled on and on until--

"Any volunteers?" Statura asked, interrupting Poe's thoughts. Oh **crap** , he totally missed the briefing... "I-I'll do it." he spoke up immediately with a raise of his hand, surprising his superiors. "O-kay then. Commander you'll be leaving promptly, I suggest you pack your things. All right, meeting adjourned." the general replied as the crowd dispersed. "Poe." Leia called out whilst Poe instantly joined her side. "You don't know what's going on do you?" she asked. "Not a clue, General... Care to fill me in?" he asked in reply as she sighed. "Poe, I really don't think you should--" "Please let me go, General. I need to get my mind off of - well, you know..." he pleaded. Who could say no to the cutest pilot in the Resistance? Plus, the poor guy was worrying over you day and night. "All right." Leia began with a breath. "You will be heading on a mission to Canto Bight. There will be a meeting with an arms dealer and Ren. All you need to do is get intel on their deal so we can plan accordingly." she added as Poe stopped. "Uh, why don't we just kill Ren and get this over with?" he asked. "No!" Leia exclaimed, clearing her throat as she simply said: "No... Do not engage. Just get the information and get out of there. Am I understood, Commander?". "Yes ma'am." he said with a nod, leaving Leia's presence to pack for the mission... It wasn't everyday one would get to go to Canto Bight, so he was pretty excited to see what would happen...

But, hah... Poe didn't know the half of what he was to be met with.

**Aboard the Finalizer Hangar...**

Your pace was quick - determined. Someone had already placed your bags aboard Kylo's shuttle and all you had to carry was yourself and your weapon. Simple! You arrived at the hangar and there stood Kylo, conversing with General Hux as both men stopped when they saw you enter... Yeah, _totally_ not awkward. "Ah, the guard. You will protect His Highness at all costs, am I clear?" Hux instantly spoke up, taking you aback momentarily. "She will do fine." Kylo replied for you, taking a quick glance at you, then Hux before boarding the ship. And with that, you saluted Hux casually with two fingers and followed behind Kylo into the seating area... You took a seat quietly across from Kylo and nervously writhed your fingers in your lap - you were understandably trepidatious. "You're nervous." Kylo simply stated, almost as if it was obvious whilst you turned to meet his gaze. "There's no need, you'll be okay." he added with an emotionless, yet, reassuring tone. It helped a little bit, no matter how much you wanted to deny it - but the sleek black and red design of the interior of the shuttle was still quite intimidating. You supposed you should get used to it, so you settled into your seat as a servant dressed in - you guessed it - black robes handed you and Kylo a drink whilst the shuttled jumped to lightspeed. Kylo sat silently, moving the liquid aright in the short cup, taking sips here and there calmly. "When we arrive, you will dress out of your uniform and into your evening gown for the meeting - it is a high-class place and we will need to dress accordingly." he said watching you nod affirmatively as the shuttle jumped out of lightspeed and began it's entry to Canto Bight...

Kylo wasn't playing... High-class described it perfectly. A rich place filled with the richest people in the galaxy, there was only one job that could make you that rich.

Selling weapons to the First Order and other distasteful people. 

Why weren't you surprised? The shuttle finally landed and you and Kylo stepped out. "Take our things to our rooms." he instructed the casino servant as you both approached the front desk. "Commander Ren! W-What a surprise. Unfortunately there is only one room available - your suite." the man stated, provoking Kylo's eyebrows to furrow as he stretched out his hand - choking the man behind the desk with the force. "Then make one available." he replied coldly whilst the man stammered: "I-I can't, C-Commander.". And with that, Kylo sighed and freed the man of the invisible clutch around his throat. "It... Seems as though we will have to share." he said, turning to meet your (even more nervous) gaze. "Oh... A-All right..." you replied quietly, following Kylo into the transparent elevator and up to the room...

As the doors swung open, all the air in your lungs vanished. Poof! Gone. You followed Kylo inside, your eyes looking up and down every inch of the room. There was a self-serving bar to your left, and a black lounge to your right. And to your front, three large windows replacing the wall - overlooking the beauty of Canto Bight which, if swung open, reveals a balcony. "Does the room suit you to your liking?" Kylo asked on a whim, watching your eyebrows raise. Uh, who? You? "To my liking? I-I don't think it would matter if it suits me, Your Highness..." you said in reply. "You don't have to call me 'Your Highness'. You do understand that?" he asked, provoking you to stiffen. "Besides, you're to be staying as well... If anything is not suited to your liking, you may request it be changed at any moment necessary." he added. So with a silent nod, you glanced at the clock on the wall and stated: "It's nearly 8:30... Perhaps we should change now. I-I'll dress in the washroom.". And with that, you grabbed your bag from the side of the door and immediately left for the washroom to dress...

You slipped on your gown over your bare body and took a deep breath before turning to the mirror - wow. 

Ab-so-lute-ly stunning. It was almost ridiculous how beautiful it was... Not suited for you though, you thought. But you had to get used to it, the fine clothes and exceptional service - being so close to Kylo as his guard. 

The gown was sleeveless and black, a strip of fabric running up your chest and around your neck... Much like one of Senator Amidala's dresses she wore when she was alive... You put your hair back in a long fish-tail braid that ran down your back and adorned your hair with silver pins that sparkled like stars. And finally, you slid the electro-chain whip staff down the back of your dress - thanks to a special opening on the inside that proved very practical and slipped on your black gloves that reached nearly to your shoulders... Thus completing your evening look. So, with a sharp sigh, you opened the door to the washroom and decided to gaze out the window as you waited for Kylo. 

Mere minutes later, he stepped out of his room with fresh black clothes and a new black cape to tie it all together... He was handsome and you couldn't deny it no matter how hard you tried. He stopped at the entrance of his room, gazing at you in your gown silently - examining you from head to toe. "It suits you." he said, locking his gaze with you as your thoughts whirled. Was he complimenting you? Was that his way of saying you looked beautiful? I think a more appropriate question would be...

**Why did you care if he thought you were beautiful or not?**

No. No no no, you weren't actually caring, were you? No, you weren't... "Thank you..." you simply replied, trying to remain as professional and as emotionless as possible. "Which, of course, is essential for acting as my consort for the evening." he added nonchalantly. Uh, **WHAT?** Consort?! "P-Pardon me, did you say 'consort'?" you asked with a stammer as he turned to meet your gaze with a simple: "I think you heard me.". Okay, this was NOT part of the job. "W-Wait wait, I thought I was your guard... Not acting as your... What is it again?" you asked hurriedly. "Partner, consort, call it whatever you wish. And you _are_ my guard. You will just raise less suspicion posing as my consort for the evening... Does that answer your question?" he asked in a snap as you nodded your head understandably. And with that, he ushered you to the door and to the elevator. 

"After you... Dear..." he said, feeling the way the affectionate name rolled off his tongue. _'Too cold?'_ he thought to himself. "Please don't call me that." you requested coldly with a shaky sigh... Colder than you usually talked. "Why?" he began. "Afraid you'll catch feelings?" he asked sarcastically, placing his hand on your back as the elevator dinged and ushering you out into the crowds... 

The music filled the air - as did the laughing and chatter of the men and women amid their games. Some cheering to the right, some "aww's" to the left, and the tune flying overhead whilst the smell of fine alcohol drifted up your nostrils. You were tense but you attempted to loosen up. _'Right, can't look suspicious...'_ you thought to yourself with a knowing nod. No one in the crowd looked familiar and you were pretty sure no one belonging to the good side was there, besides you... Soon enough, Kylo rose his chin ever so slightly which caught your attention. "What is it?" you asked quietly as Kylo replied: "Kariff Gunfil, that's our weapons dealer.". You lined your gaze with Kylo's and saw a man - dressed impeccably and no less handsome than the next man rolling at a nearby table... "Your Highness." Kariff greeted Kylo, bowing slightly as he turned your gaze to you then back at Kylo. "And who is this lovely woman?" he asked with a charming smile as he grasped your hand gently and kissed it. "This - lovely woman - is my consort, Lady Y/N." Kylo answered with a semi-warm (yet, to you, noticeably fake) smile whilst he placed his hand on your lower back, pulling you closer to him. _'My, he must be enjoying this.'_ you thought to yourself sarcastically - trying your hardest not to roll your eyes at his answer... "Lucky man, Ren." Kariff simply said as Kylo replied: "I think so...". Yep, even the slightest pause was awkward to you... "Now," Kylo cleared his throat. "Down to business.". And with that, Kariff led you and Kylo off to a sleek, dark booth with pre-ordered drinks. 

Kylo and Kariff talked, and talked, and talked away about nearly every order of business that weapons dealing had to offer. Periodically, Kylo would place his hand on yours with a "That's good. Isn't that good... Dear?". To which you would smile, nod, and think to yourself: _'This is too much, even for me.'_. Kylo had already downed two drinks. Not enough to make him drunk, but enough to make him loosen up slightly more than usual - although he preferred to stay sober more often... You had to make up and excuse to leave. Anything! You needed fresh air and quick. "Erm, I should - freshen up... Excuse me, darling..." you said with a tender pat on Kylo's hand, practically forcing the affectionate name out of your mouth as you slipped away casually to the best of your ability. Kylo's gaze followed you for a brief moment before turning back to the man to strike yet, another deal...

Finally, you made your way out of the midst of the bustling crowds that were engulfed in their gambling as you found a nearby balcony on a slightly higher floor and slipped outside... The stars glistened in the night sky as you took a deep breath - watching a star stream across the sky whilst you chuckled dryly to yourself. "Better make a wish..." you said silently. "I wish someone was here... Some form of light, assuring me that I haven't been left to the dark completely..." you added with a whisper, closing your eyes until you heard a deep voice from behind... 

"Y/N?" a man said from behind. Hah, he sounded just like Poe.

"Wow... Just like Poe, huh? That's funny, I'm probably dreaming." you said, half to yourself and half to the stars with another dry chuckle. "Y/N is that really you?" the man asked once more as you rolled your eyes. "Listen, whoever you are I'm not in the mood for any--" you began, turning to meet the man's gaze as your heart practically leaped out of your chest. "POE?!" you asked rather loudly. "Y/N?!" he asked in reply. Yep, you were pretty sure you were hallucinating. What on Canto Bight was in that drink?! "I must be dreaming... Or drunk... Or both." you said under your breath as Poe inched his way closer, grasping your gloved hand gently as you gasped.

 **It was Poe.** There! On Canto Bight! Standing inches away from you and holding your hand just like back on D'Qar!

"P-Poe, is it really you?" you asked, tears filling your eyes as tears filled his. "Y-Yeah, it's me, Y/N. Gosh, I-I've been so worried. Have you been all right? Are you safe? Have they hurt you?" he asked at once in reply, looking you over from head to toe for any injuries whilst secretly admiring your dress. "I-I'm okay... Safe wouldn't be the word I'd use and n-no, they haven't hurt me." you answered. And before you could say anything else, Poe pulled you into a bone-crushing embrace as tears streamed down his eyes. "Wait," he began, pulling out of the hug with a grasp on your shoulders. "Why are you here?" he asked. "I-I'm Ren's guard... He's here doing some business with a weapons dealer. W-Wait why are you here?" you asked in reply as Poe's jaw fell slightly. "I'm on a mission... To get intel on Ren's business deal." he answered. **Oh crap.**

He was interfering with your mission and you were smack-dab in the middle of his! Any information Poe had would be used against the First Order - thus putting you in harm's way too. " **Oh no.** " you both said simultaneously... "Poe, please... Don't tell them anything back on D'Qar." you began to plead as Poe spoke up. "Y/N, I need that information you know this... I can't lie to Leia." he replied. "Can you tell me anything? Anything at all that could help?" he added with those big puppy-dog-like eyes. "Poe, I can't. I could get into serious trouble - maybe even get killed if I do." you answered. This was a fine mess, and both you and Poe knew that if you helped give the Resistance any information, you'd be in grave danger. "Okay." Poe finally said. "I'll go back to D'Qar and tell them I didn't get any intel." he added with a sigh as your eyes widened. "Wait, you'd do that for me?" you asked. "Yeah. Yeah, I would. I can't risk you being-- WAIT!" he exclaimed, grasping both of your hands excitedly as a grin spread across his lips. Uh-oh, the famous Poe-getting-an-idea face. "Come with me!" he added a bit loudly, making your eyes widen even more. "C-Come with you? Poe, I can't..." you replied sadly, turning away to watch the race taking place below as Poe stood next to you with desperation. "Y/N, please. Come back with me, you'll be safe! You can resume your position as Captain and lead by my side just like old times! Please..." he begged, provoking you to meet his gaze with sadness. "Poe, you know I can't... This - me sacrificing myself - is to protect _you_. You, Jess, Snap, Leia - everyone. You know it too..." you said, placing your hand on his cheek as his lips began to quiver and tears began to fall from his eyes. "Please, Y/L/N. I can't lose you again..." he whispered. Suddenly, your lips crashed onto his through the tears and he cupped the sides of your face with his palms. "You know what my answer is, Poe..." you whispered in reply as he attempted to regain his composure and said: "I-I understand...". And with that, you hugged him once more before beginning your return to your table. "Y/N?" he called out, stopping you in your tracks as you turned to meet his gaze. "May the Force be with you." he simply stated as you smiled sadly and replied: "May the Force be with you too, Poe...". That, well - that was your goodbye for the time being... You returned to your booth in silence and took your place right next to Kylo as he grasped your hand on the table lightly. "Are you all right? You seem flustered." he asked. Flustered was one word for it... "Y-Yes, I'm fine..." you answered with a kind, yet, saddened smile as Kylo stood upright and shook hands with the dealer. After you and Kylo dispensed with the pleasantries with Kariff, you both returned to the elevator and sighed in unison. "Are you really all right?" he asked flatly, taking you by surprise at his sudden concern as you answered: "Y-Yes..." and rode the rest of the way up to your room silently...

You and Kylo entered the room in silence - a non-verbal acknowledgement of both yours and Kylo's energy spent. Yes, meetings could be stressful for even Ren and you understood why... You instantly disappeared into the washroom and changed into a very dark grey nightgown. The mid-arm sleeves were slightly puffy, and the silhouette of the dress itself was flattering - yet not too form-fitting with a nice flow to it when you walked. And to top it all off, your slippers. You walked out into the lounge just as Kylo stepped out of the room in nothing but his black pants - shirtless... His muscles painstakingly visible, almost taunting you whilst you tried to advert your gaze. Really? Again? "I-I suppose we should discuss sleeping arrangements... You can sleep in the room and - I can rest in here." he said. My, was Kylo full of surprises that night. Why, in Luke's name, would he be courteous? To **_you_** , of all people?! "I-I'll stay awake in here." you simply replied as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I'm giving you an option to sleep in a room and you say you'll stay awake out here? By yourself?" he asked, the confusion making itself evident in his tone of voice. "I-I'm your guard, Your Highness. I'm certain I can manage." you answered. So with a deep 'hm' from Kylo - he nodded, almost as if he was bidding you goodnight, and disappeared into the room and closed the door. You wouldn't have been able to sleep anyways... Not when there was so much to process regarding your day. Your mission, Kylo's affectionate names for you at dinner, Poe, and now Kylo's strangely courteous manner towards you.

You started with the mission: Wow, where to begin? Canto Bight was beautiful and abuzz with different races of people and the gambling tables... What better place to start your first mission, am I right?

Kylo's pet names for you? Talk about awkward! It was weird being called "dear" multiple times in one evening, especially by Kylo. But, it was only for the mission, after all. 

Poe scaring you on the balcony - that had to be the best thing that happened to you so far since the day you left D'Qar. You were so lonely, and Poe didn't even know the half of it! You wanted badly to go with him, but in the end - he understood why you couldn't, and so did you...

And finally, Kylo's respectfulness not just from this evening but throughout the whole day?! That really caught you off-guard. You were nothing to him! All you were was a bargaining chip, and now his guard. What more was there to say or think? 

Each of these thoughts passed through your head, filling you with all kinds of emotions... But amid the reflections, your eyes began to get heavy. You wished you had some company, or even food, in the least! You would've gotten a drink but you didn't want to risk getting intoxicated on the job... Suddenly, the creaking of the bedroom door echoed behind you and provoked you to perk up instantly. You were met with the sight of Kylo, in a form-fitting black shirt along with his pants, meeting your gaze as soon as he stepped out. "Your Highness, is everything all right?" you asked upon his arrival into the room as he made his way over to the bar - filling two glasses with milk and grabbing pre-made sandwiches that somehow you missed when you got settled in. "I couldn't sleep." he replied simply. _'Kylo Ren, sleeping troubles? No.'_ you thought to yourself sarcastically as Kylo set the contents in his hands down on the table in the lounge. "I should keep on the lookout." you suggested nicely but firmly. "It's midnight, it would be absurd for someone to try to come in at this hour. Join me." he almost commanded. What were you going to do? Say no to the man who nearly asphyxiated the attendant at the front desk for not having an extra available room? Ha, not happening. So, you set your weapon aside and joined Kylo on the wide sofa in the lounge...

He set the plates so close together - you wished you could've scooted over a bit further away... Was he trying to make a move? Wait-- no! Haha, what a silly thought. Of course, not! "I've always found it difficult to sleep somewhere new." you spoke up amid the silence. "Me too." Kylo replied. Wow, he actually admitted it? Credits to him for being honest about at least one thing today. "Do you see the ocean? Right beyond the edge of the cliffs, see?" you asked, pointing to the scenery right outside the window of the waves crashing against the rocks as Kylo answered: "Yes." whilst he took a bite of his food. "I imagine--" "An island." Kylo interrupted, finishing your sentence for you as your eyebrows furrowed. "Yes, how did you know?" you asked. "I saw it that day - the day you were first aboard my ship..." he began in reply. "You imagine a setting sun, feeling the warm sand beneath your feet as you walk by the shore... Watching the sky turn to darkness slowly whilst you close your eyes and smell the air. A peace washing over you like a the tide on a shell buried under the sand - I saw it." he added in great detail.

You. Were. Speechless.

You hadn't told anyone about that island before, it only existed in your imagination and that's where it stayed... It was a private thought - desire - that was shared with no one... Well, now no one but Kylo.

"I hope I walk that shore one day..." you whispered. "You will." he assured you, still rather flatly but no less reassuring... "Thank you." you said whilst he tilted his head slightly in confusion as to what for. "For keeping me company..." you added. "You're welcome." he replied, you both yawning in unison and drifting off to sleep quicker than what you thought was possible...

Your first mission wasn't so bad after all...


	14. "Ben"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once returned to the Finalizer - you're given an unexpected gift that leaves you speechless. 
> 
> Meanwhile, you sense the conflict in Ben growing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! If you've made it thus far, I want to say thank you so much for reading! It means a lot as an aspiring-writer and I sincerely hope you all enjoy it! This one is a bit shorter, and I apologize. But I did add a brief day-dreamy element to the chapter regarding you and His Royal Hotness-- I mean, Highness. Eheheh. Enjoy!

The sun shined through your eyelids as your eyes fluttered open at the golden brightness... Your senses came alive slowly - slowly - until...

**OH NO.**

No no no no, this is bad. This-- **THIS** is wrong. Your head was rested on the arm of the sofa and you sat upright sleepily - trying to comprehend what exactly happened last night... The half-drunken glasses of milk and remains of the sandwiches were still atop the table as they were last night and-- hold on now. 

How were you covered up?

You didn't exactly remember wrapping a blanket around you before joining Kylo at the sofa, no no... This blanket was draped over you delicately, stopping just below your shoulders. So, if you didn't cover yourself up then the only person remaining who could've was...

Kylo.

Wait, did you two sleep... **Together**? Woah! No no no, not in _that_ sense, are you crazy?! I mean, did you two sleep side by side on the couch in a closer-than-you-would've-liked proximity? Oh crap. The creaking of the bedroom door interrupted your thoughts as out-stepped Kylo in his blackened robes. "D-Did I-- We-- You--?" you stammered with widened eyes as Kylo sighed lightly. "We must've fallen asleep on the sofa and you seemed cold, so I draped a blanket over you." he replied with that signature stoic tone and expression. "But, I mean. We didn't... You know... Right?" you asked as Kylo simply asked: "Didn't what?...". "Didn't what? Say it..." he asked once more, inching his way closer as you gulped. "A-Actually, I forgot the uh - question. Um, I'm going to dress then we can leave, Your Highness..." you said as you hastily disappeared into the washroom to change... It didn't take long and in a matter of minutes, you were finished and you and Kylo made your way downstairs and to the shuttle that was already loaded with your things. And just like before, you and Kylo sat across from each other near the window as the shuttle took to the stars...

Much to your surprise, you enjoyed being Kylo's guard... Although it was your first mission and you still preferred the Resistance over the First Order, it was nice to see a side of Kylo that no one saw besides him striding down the hallway with those long, tall--

"You did well." Kylo stated out of the blue, interrupting your thoughts as the shuttle jumped to lightspeed. Did he just-- Did he just compliment you??? "Did... Did you just compliment me?" you asked with a light chuckle and a raised eyebrow as Kylo began to correct himself. "For your first mission, you did all right..." he replied. Oh... Only "all right"? Why couldn't he had just left the compliment at that? Was it really so hard to do? "Oh..." you said under your breath, your confidence dropping by the second... You didn't know why - but you wanted to impress him...

"Perhaps above well..." he whispered, almost to himself as your expressions softened at his sudden quiet whisper whilst the shuttle came out of lightspeed. You gazed out the window as the Finalizer faded closer and closer into view until it landed in the hangar. Well, the excitement now came to an end... It was back to your stuffy quarters with you. The room almost felt like a cell instead of an actual 'room'... The shuttle doors hissed open and you followed Kylo out and met Hux, who was standing with a couple other stormtroopers - awaiting your arrival. "Take Miss Y/N's things to her new room." he grumbled to a stormtrooper who obeyed as your eyes widened. "Excuse me, 'new room'?" you asked. I mean, it was almost as if someone read your mind! "Follow me." Kylo simply stated as he walked away - knowing you would follow close behind... Because, I mean...

When would you not?

Kylo led you down a new corridor that looked somewhat different from the rest yet, somehow strangely identical... Odd, isn't it? A new floor which was sleeker, nicer, and all around more fanciful yet darker in color. 'This must be where the important people live...' you thought to yourself. But wait, why would you be there??? Suddenly, Kylo stopped at a door and almost caused you to bump into him (thank goodness you didn't), punched in some numbers, and entered with a signal for you to follow. And, needless to say, you were stunned. 

The room was spacious - more so than your previous living arrangements. Instead of the room being mainly metal walls, doors, and floors, the walls were black and modestly decorated with red tapestry with the First Order Symbol. The bed was a bit larger than your past bed, but no less inviting as it was covered with a red blanket that matched the decorations and black silk pillows. And, of course, a bigger washroom that was surprisingly white. The first white thing you've seen, actually. "This... Is my room? What happened to the other one?" you asked Kylo who had his hands clasped behind his back whilst admiring the room for himself - which was much like his own besides a few details here and there (but I sense you'll see later on). "The other room was - standard issue... This will be your new room and since you are now my guard, you will be eating finer foods and your clothing? Well... Better." he replied, provoking your eyes to widen. This was too much to take in. "You will begin your new training with me tomorrow morning in my private training room and should you have need of anything - you may call upon a servant." he added as you nodded. "Ah, one other thing." he said, walking over to the wall and with an upward flick of his hand, the covering raised and revealed a vast sea of stars... Practically the whole of that wall was now a window for to let starlight shine through! "You seem fascinated with stars, so I thought this appropriate for your room." he added as you gasped. "I-It's beyond appropriate but... Why are you being so kind to me? I'm nothing but your guard, a former Resistance pilot." you asked... You couldn't just let him leave without asking. "You..." he began, inching his way closer as your breathing slowly increased in nervousness. "You..." he repeated until finally he said: "You did exceptionally for your first mission, and you are second only to me.". And with that, he turned and began to depart...

"Ben." you called out softly, provoking him to stop in his tracks as he turned his head ever so slightly in acknowledgement as you added: "Thank you.", watching him leave the room without another word... 

You sensed the conflict growing stronger within him - stronger than he cared to admit but you sensed he knew it too... You wondered what Kylo would be like if he just gave into the light. How much softer he'd be - how loving... You felt a new sense of caring for Ben, and you didn't really care to call him "Kylo". You knew that Ben was in there - a broken man just waiting to be loved.

And who knows? You could be just the person to love him.

So, with that, you laid your tired body on the silky soft bed, closed your eyes, and drifted off to sleep.

After all, you deserved it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, so sorry that it was a shorter chapter. Chapter 15 will be posted soon! Thanks for reading!


	15. Meant to Be...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your new training begins with Ben and your confidence in the conflict within him waivers... And after said training session goes wrong, you make a drastic decision and plan an escape - to return to D'Qar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was a bit difficult coming up with a chapter "summary" for this chapter, so sorry about that. But I'm fairly certain you'll see when you read on... (I wanted to add a bit of a Poe and Finn element to you and Em, so I hope you like it!) Enjoy!

_The water was cold._

_And dark..._

_You felt as if you were going to suffocate if you couldn't get a breath of air within another second. The light of the stars that had always guided you - faded. You were alone._

_Afraid..._

_A darkness - far stronger than you could've imagined snuffed out every bit of light left within you and it was cold and-- And terrifying... And a voice, you heard it before but it-- No..._

_That's impossible... And just as everything slowly - slowly - faded away...._

You awoke.

That same cold sweat trickled down your forehead as your chest rose and fell hard with each heavy breath... What were these dreams? The forest? And now this... Drowning? What was the Force trying to show you? Whatever it was, you didn't have time to dwell on it... You just clutched the necklace that Leia gave you with a weak smile and readied yourself for the training session ahead with Kylo. Your new uniform black from the collar to the toe, with white hood. _'Well that's new.'_ you thought with a slight chuckle... So with a sharp sigh - after fixing the minor details of your hair, you grabbed your chain whip staff and immediately left for Kylo's training room. 

You slipped inside and the door hissed closed behind you as your gaze shifted to Kylo - standing in the middle of the room stoically whilst you approached him. "What are we doing today? I'm getting used to this--" "Sit." he interrupted, taking you aback momentarily before you obeyed. Sitting... Again, lovely. "Am I meditating before using my chain whip?" you asked. "You won't be using that today... I want you to think back to that night I was in your room..." he replied as he circled where you sat with slightly furrowed eyebrows, grasping your weapon and tossing it aside in one fluid motion. You thought back to that night - your eyes filling with tears as you recalled every emotion. "There it is... What do you feel?" he asked barely above a whisper as you shook your head in defiance. "I-I don't want to feel it..." you managed to say without your voice faltering completely... The darkness returned, and suddenly all light was - gone. Your hand slowly began to make it's way up your chest, trying to clutch onto what little memory of the light you had left - even when you weren't trying to... "What is this?" he asked, taking the necklace in his hand as your eyes opened, standing in an instant. "I-It was a gift from--" "From my mother... This is why you won't just - feel it." he interrupted yet again. Without warning, he yanked the necklace from your neck, ignited his lightsaber, and destroyed the crystal into thousands of tiny pieces. "No!!!" you exclaimed as the tears began to stream down your cheeks. "Please, Ben! No!!!" you repeated. But he persisted to destroy the precious gifts until it was unable to be fixed. You turned away in tears - your gift and symbol of hope in even the darkest of places was now gone... Destroyed... Mere shreds of crystal and unable to be mended. "Let the past die..." Kylo began as you turned to meet his gaze. "Kill it, if you have to. It's the only way you can become what you're meant to be..." he added. "I-It hurts so bad..." you replied between sobs before Kylo took a breath and said: "Come with me.". Therefore, you sorrowfully obeyed and followed Kylo out of the training room...

Soon enough, you arrived at the door to his quarters. You hadn't been before and curiosity ate away at your soul - as did resentment. The door hissed open and you followed Ren inside, your eyes widening as you eyed every inch of his room... White, clean, and in the midst of the floor - a closed pedestal that intrigued you, but you didn't exactly feel like finding out what was inside. Kylo made his way to an old, tattered, nearby black box as you followed close behind in anticipation. You sensed a darkness about the box as Kylo opened it and pulled out a familiar looking object...

A lightsaber. 

Kylo, with a stoic expression, handed you the weapon - provoking you to hesitate before taking it... But something-- Something wasn't right. Then you saw it...

_You saw a man, not much older than you with a woman - a princess... They fell in love, but - that was no match for the darkness rising in him... You saw his victims. Hoards of people killed in the most gruesome of ways - and the handful of children - Padawans, slaughtered with the cruel, merciless strokes of his lightsaber. You saw a frightened man, a hand rid from his body as a masked voice said to the man: 'I am your father.'._

Tears began to stream down your face as you gazed up at Kylo, horrified at your newfound vision. "W-What is this?" you asked between sobs... You couldn't believe what you saw. "My grandfather's - Darth Vader's - lightsaber." he replied simply, rendering you speechless. "A-All those children... Why am I here?" you asked whilst the tears continued to fall from your fearful eyes. "Let them go... Leia, the pilot, everyone. Let them go and you'll be free." he answered. "No!" you whispered as you wiped the tears away. "No. You're enslaved, and you're so blind that you can't see it! That night, before I came, you wanted to take my hand, I felt it... I may be on your ship, and I may be your guard. But Ben, I won't let go. And I won't let the darkness win!" you exclaimed. Your eyes were determined, displaying your fiery spirit in which you wouldn't let the darkness in... And Kylo? He knew it. He stayed silent, and remained emotionless. How could he not be swayed?! You didn't fight anymore... And you didn't try to turn him any longer... You just - left. You returned to your quarters to pack your things and go back to D'Qar at once...

You slipped back into your room as your door hissed closed. You found a black rucksack in a drawer and began packing your things... Tears rolled down your cheeks, not from the terrifying vision from Vader's lightsaber - but from Kylo Ren. You felt the conflict within him and you were certain that you could turn him - but it was clear that it wasn't meant to be... You had to move quickly, every belonging that you had left was now packed but - you felt you were missing something.

Em.

Of course! You knew the light was in her, and her morals were stronger than her duty as a storm trooper. You could bring her back to D'Qar and-- _knock knock knock!_ A knock echoed from your door, provoking your eyes to widen as you clutched your chain whip staff and inched your way closer to the door. And with a hiss, the door opened - revealing Em nervously turning to meet your gaze. "Hurry, come in here!" you whispered, pulling the woman inside. "You're leaving! Back to D'Qar." she stated as you cocked an eyebrow. "Y-Yeah. Wait, how did you know that?" you asked in reply. "I-- I don't know. I felt something and I knew I had to come..." she answered. 

"Come and say goodbye, or?" you asked.

"Come and tell you I'm coming with you." she replied, provoking a grin to spread across your lips.

"You need a pilot."

"I need a pilot."

"We? We're gonna do this." you replied with a nod and smile that was reciprocated. And with that, you draped the sack of your things over your shoulder and snuck out of your room with Em... 

You both slipped out into the hangar, hiding behind the wings of the various ships and fuel tanks until you ducked down. "All right. Casual pace, don't raise suspicion, we'll slip into that TIE fighter nearest to the ground and get out of here." you trailed off as Em nodded and followed your lead - out into the open hangar and towards the fighter you pointed at. "Hey! What are you doing there?" a stormtrooper called out as you and Em froze... Well, this was a fine mess. So close to escaping and this is how your plan is foiled? I mean you could-- No. No, you weren't ready... Then again, there's no harm in trying, right? _'Whelp, here goes nothing.'_ you thought to yourself. "You will let us board the fighter, and tell no one we were here..." you said, watching the stormtrooper tilt his head as Em whispered: "Y/N, what are you doing?". You silenced Em with a raise of your hand, and much to your surprise...

"I will let you board the fighter, and tell no one you were here." the trooper repeated, provoking you and Em to grin as you both proceeded to the ship with a sigh of relief until - "Don't let them board that fighter!!!" a captain called out from the command room as yours and Em's eyes widened. "Okay! Time to run!" you exclaimed, darting across the rest of the way with your newfound friend and into the TIE. "You sure you can fly this thing?!" Em asked as she strapped herself in behind your seat in the fighter. "It's not exactly my catchphrase, but I can fly anything! Hold on!" you shouted above the roar of the engines as you took off - breaking the anchor chain just in time before you and Em could be blasted to kingdom come with a triumphant laugh. And soon enough, you were out of range of the Finalizer's guns and you disappeared into a vast sea of stars...

**Meanwhile, on D'Qar...**

The sun was shining as it almost always had whilst Poe and Leia walked around the base, that is, until Leia had to take a breath and take a seat on a nearby rock or chair of other sort. "You all right, General?" Poe asked casually as Leia chuckled breathlessly. "I'm fine, Commander. Besides, the fresh air is nice." she replied kindly, provoking Poe to nod affirmatively as a pilot ran to their side, panting heavily. "Commander, General! A TIE fighter has been spotted and heading to base!" she exclaimed as Poe replied: "Duty calls, General... Get every gun we got down to the air strip and prepare to fire on my mark!" he shouted, following the pilot back to the runway whilst pulling out his blaster and ducking behind an ammunition bin. Sure enough, the TIE fighter roared in arrival and began to land on the air strip. And once Poe gave the signal, every gun began to fire as the hatch on the ship lifted. 

"Don't shoot! Don't shoot! It's me!!!" you exclaimed with raised hands as Poe demanded everyone to stop firing. "Y/N?!" he called out in surprise, watching you jump down from the ship, still in your training clothes as you ran and jumped into his arms. "Y/N! W-What're you doing here?! H-How did you--" "I need to talk to Leia... And I had some help." you interrupted with a teary-eyed smile, turning to Em who was climbing down from the TIE with a little help from Finn. "Thanks. I'm Em." she thanked Finn kindly whilst he introduced himself as you and Poe watched in amusement. "Captain!" Leia called out happily, hobbling with her cane to where you stood as you ran and pulled her into a tight embrace. "Wait, 'Captain'?" you asked. "I sensed you would be back so I relieved Pava of her duties as acting captain and reinstated your rank." she replied as your smile faded slightly... "About that... Leia, I really must have a word." you said, only for Leia to rest her hand on your shoulder as she simply answered: "We can talk. But for now, I think you have some friends who missed you.", directing your gaze to behind you and there stood Jess, Snap, and Poe with teary-eyed smiles. And with that, you pulled your friends into the tightest embrace you could as they wrapped their arms around your neck and shoulders.

And finally, for a brief moment, nothing else in the galaxy mattered.

You were home...

**Back on the Finalizer...**

"Supreme Leader, Commander Ren has failed!" Hux exclaimed to the hologram of the Supreme Leader Snoke as Kylo walked in with a scowl. "Leave us." Snoke commanded Hux whilst the man obeyed and left the Commander and Supreme Leader in silence... "The girl, she--" "You idiot child!" Snoke interrupted with a shout, his voice echoing around Ren as he looked up from his bow on one knee. "I couldn't stop her. She escaped - slipped past the guards along with one of our own... A stormtrooper." Kylo replied as Snokes eyes drew in anger. "You let her escape! You let her fall through your gloved fingers and out of your grasp. She has already turned a soldier in your ranks to the light... How many more?" Snoke asked as the hologram fizzled off, leaving Kylo in the silence of the darkened room... 


	16. Hope for the Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A month after your escape to D'Qar, things return to normal for the most part...
> 
> Besides one detail you overlooked - Kylo Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everybody! Chapter 16 (mind. blown.) is now published for your reading pleasure! This takes place a month after your escape from the Finalizer, just a heads up. This time period, however, will be falling into when TROS takes place - but of course, you're replacing Rey. I'll try add my own twist on things, but just wanted to let you all kow. The bond between you and Kylo is still quite strong and it'll come up more often in future chapters. Happy Reading!

"Come on, BB-8!" you shouted, running as fast as your legs could carry you with a lightsaber in hand - Luke's lightsaber, a gift from Leia. The blaster shot barely missed you by a hair as you dodged out of the way and absorbed the next shot with the saber. Pretty decent! "Hah, he'll never catch up to us now, BB-8." you said with a breathless chuckle, slowing to a halt as you looked around... Silence - so silent, in fact, you could hear your own breathing. "I wonder where-- OH!" you exclaimed, falling backward on your back with a thud as the man pinned you to the ground with a grin. "Gotcha." Poe said with pride, turning to the droid as he simply added: "Nice job, BB-8! You know, if you drop another tree on him like last time, I'll have no other choice but to demote you - Captain." in a playful tone as you stood upright and dealt him a playful punch on his arm. "If only you had the power, Commander." you replied with a giggle. You and Poe almost didn't notice Leia coming up from behind. "How is the training coming along? she asked as you and Poe turned to face the woman with bright smiles and a heavy sigh from you as you handed her the weapon. "Fell again--" "But getting better everyday." Poe interrupted you, shooting you a wink before turning to face the general. "Only because you're being a distraction, Commander." Leia quipped, provoking you to wince playfully as you whispered:

"Ooh, scolded by the General. How does that feel, Dameron?"

To which he replied:

"Hurts so bad, Y/L/N." with a charming grin as you two chuckled among yourselves.

"I'm going to run the training course again. Need to work on faster timing." you told Leia, looking downwards as she handed you the lightsaber - which you took with a weak smile as you turned to Poe. Last time you were offered a lightsaber was when you were on the Finalizer with Kylo... Which you still hadn't told Leia about quite yet. "That's your cue to go, Commander. You've got a lot to do." you told Poe with a grin as he snapped back to reality with an 'ahem' and a smile. "Y-Yup. Still going out with us tonight?" he asked. "To the cantina? Wouldn't miss it." you replied whilst his smile widened as he waved goodbye and departed. And with a nod to the general, you began running along the trail, through the woods and across the stones in the streams... Ah, yes. There was nothing like the wind blowing through your hair as the smells of nearby budding flowers and trees reached your nose whilst you darted by. First you leapt up a tree from limb to limb and cut down a piece of a red cord with your saber, then you stopped at the edge of a canyon, placed a helmet over your head and closed the blinds of the helmet, and made your way across the thin line of the tightrope as you swung the weapon - dodging an unseen opponent until finally, you got to the other side and began to make your way back to camp to finish the course...

You ran faster and faster than you thought you ever had before with a triumphant laugh until - you tripped. And on a tree root no less! And with that, the pesky little blaster robot flew to your side and began tasing and shooting at you without any remorse for your current condition: Bruised and dirty. You huffed as you swung your lightsaber at the droid, missing it be merely an inch before it shot you again, provoking you to groan in pain. So with a fluid motion, you tossed the weapon aside, summoned a large nearby stick with the force, and impaled the droid into the tree with all your might as you reached for your saber once more and sliced it to pieces. And in an instant...

All went silent.

_'Can't finish it, can you?'_ that smooth, deep voice of Ren asked as you froze in your place... You stayed silent. 

_'You'll come back, eventually. Take your place by my side and by taking my hand you'll join me and we'll restore balance to the galaxy...'_ he added. Wait - by **his** side? **"We"?** You could feel him circling, yet he wasn't there in person with you.

 _'The lightsaber you hold... It belongs to me and yet you still won't let the past go. Skywalker, the Jedi. You just won't let it go... Well, we'll see about that.'_ he stated. And just like that, he vanished once more and you were left a panting, sweaty mess. So with widened eyes, you returned to base in a daze to report back to Leia...

"I can't do it, Leia!" you exclaimed, pacing the floor as Leia watched from the side with the lightsaber in hand and a sigh. "I-I can't get away from him. I see him, I feel him, and I blame myself for what happened." you added quickly, the tears threatening to spill from your eyes but you blinked them away. "You will know what to do - in time..." she said with a breathless sigh as she sat on a nearby chair, provoking you to rush to her side. "L-Leia, are you all right?" you asked with concern, to which she simply replied: "Fine, Captain. Only tired. Go, you shouldn't keep your friends waiting.". And with that, you nodded and left to get ready and meet your friends at the cantina.

Words couldn't express how amazing it felt to be back in your own room again. I mean, sure it's been a month since you came back - but still, you were relieved to be back in a world with more... Color, instead of black and red all the time. You shrugged your worn, brown leather jacket over your shoulders and your braided hair draped perfectly over your right shoulder whilst you admired the sight in the mirror. Wearing something other than black was amazing, to say the least. And with one final glance in the mirror, you smiled weakly and headed out of your room and to the cantina a ways away...

As you neared the cantina that was abuzz with patrons coming in and stumbling out, you breathed a deep breath before heading inside. You never liked cantinas, but when it was with friends - it was worthwhile. Almost instantly, you found your party. Finn, Em, Jess, Snap, and Poe were all sitting at a much larger booth than you remembered last time you were there and Poe called out to you upon seeing you walk in. "Hey, Y/N! Over here!" he exclaimed as he scooted over and patted the seat next to him, which you so graciously accepted. And soon enough, everyone was knee-deep in conversation. From boasts of heroic rescues, to things you missed since you've been away, and how you and Em escaped from the Finalizer... Which, of course, you weren't fond of recalling. "Guys, what matters is is that Em and I are here now. No need to bring up the past." you said with a sigh, rolling your eyes on the last part of your statement as you took a sip of your water. "Fine, fine. How about some drinks?" Jess asked. Yeah, it was just like Pava to suggest drinks before anyone else. And with a nod of agreement from you and the others, she and Snap left off to place the order and soon enough - returned with the beverages for your consumption... 

The evening went on, as did the endless amount of drinks that came to the table. You downed Maker knows how many drinks and while you preferred to remain sober, you needed the alcohol to forget about your problems with Kylo. And soon enough, Jess and Snap went off to dance whilst Finn and Em left elsewhere in the cantina - leaving you and Poe in the comforts of your booth with his arm slung lazily around your shoulder. That is, until after everyone left and he sat upright. Oh no. No no no, this was his - what you liked to call - his 'serious-Poe-face'. Usually, he would say something that was too right, he would be too handsome to be mad at, and you would eventually cave... "Okay, Y/L/N. What's going on?" he asked, provoking you to raise an eyebrow as you shrugged and said: "I don't know what you're talking about." whilst you took another sip of your drink before moving onto another. "Uh-huh. You hate drinking and yet, you've downed two "Twin Sunsets", three shots of "Solos" and working on your first of "The Dooku". What's up?" he asked once more as you looked up from your drink with widened eyes. Okay, you didn't mean to have **that** many drinks. "I-It's Ren... Don't get me wrong, Poe, I love being back. But--" "You blame yourself for not turning him over." he interrupted as you nodded silently. "I'm sorry, Y/N. But I'm sure you'll know what to do soon." he assured you. Yep, always like Poe to be straight yet soft. At least, with you. "When do you leave on your mission? Heard it's pretty big." you asked, sliding the cup of alcohol away to maintain your sobriety as Poe replied: "Tonight. Yeah, something about a spy in the First Order. There's talk that Palpatine has returned..." he stated with a whisper, provoking your eyes to widen in terror. **Palpatine?! Return?!** You had a bad feeling about this. "Palpatine? W-Wow, that's big." you said. "Wanna come with? I gotta drag Finn away from Em and could always use another hand." he offered with a relaxed smile. No matter how much you always loved to go on a mission, you thought it best to stay back. And, of course, Poe understood. So, you gathered the rest of your friends and walked back (or in Jess and Snap's case, stumbled back) to base to see Poe, Finn, Chewie and BB-8 off. 

"This is dangerous Poe, I have a bad feeling about this..." you said unsurely, watching Finn and Chewie load up the Falcon as Poe scoffed. "Pfft. Says the girl who gave herself up to the First Order to save her friends!" he exclaimed as you chuckled to yourself. "I know, I know. Just be careful, okay?" you asked in reply. To which Poe nodded with a confident grin and boarded the Falcon - taking off shortly thereafter... You hated seeing Poe off every time. Although you two were still nothing official, it hurt each time he left nonetheless. After they disappeared into the night sky, you made your way past Leia - who was leaning heavily on her stick with a heavy sigh. "General, are you sure you're all right?" you asked, steadying the woman by her elbows as she breathed deeply then spoke. "J-Just fine, Captain. Help me to my quarters..." she answered as you obeyed immediately and helped her back to her quarters before you returned to your own for the evening...

You pulled your boots from your tired feet and tossed them aside as you shrugged off your jacket and collapsed on your bed with a sigh. You were tired, and you sensed something was awry with Leia.

 _'I'm impressed. You're not intoxicated yet.'_ a voice said before you as you sat upright in an instant to face the man... Kylo - through the Force.

Crap. 

"You're some son." you began, watching Kylo's eyebrows furrow slightly whilst he remained silent - allowing you to proceed. 

"Leia's weakening." you added.

 _'I can't come back, you know this.'_ he whispered... His voice tinged with sadness as he sat across from you. You couldn't see his surroundings... 

Just him.

"Ben..." you began, ridding your hand from the glove as you reached out slowly. He was alone - defenseless, and you could see the conflict tearing him apart. 

_'I know what to do but I don't have the strength to do it...'_ he whispered in reply as you inched your way closer. 

"Just take... take my hand... It's oh so simple..." you stated, only for Kylo to look down shakily at your hand then back in your eyes with a tear-filled gaze. It was eating away at him - the guilt for killing Han Solo, the conflict. All of it... He wanted to take your hand but he just-- didn't. 

So, as a tear ran down your cheek, you reached your hand up to his cheek - and with the most delicate of movements...

You touched him.

Your palm rested on his cheek and his expressions began to soften, giving into your gentle touch before fading away once more... Leaving you in the silence of your room as you gasped at what had just happened. Ben Solo was there, just waiting to be brought out. 

And all you needed to do now was have a chance to reach him... But, as of that moment, it was out of your control. So, after readying yourself for bed that evening, you crawled under the sheets of your bed - hoping that somehow, Ben Solo can be found again...


	17. Palpatine's Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Finn return with news confirming the worst - Palpatine has returned... And you come up with a plan that could very well save Ben Solo...
> 
> And the galaxy.
> 
> WARNING: Contains TROS spoilers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good evening, everyone! You will find that this chapter is a bit different (but somehow, oddly similar) to TROS (please note: I changed a few things here and there to drive the story along and not be copyright flagged haha). We are nearing the end of our story (besides a chapter or two left to go), I regret to inform you. But! I'm so very thankful to each and everyone of you that have read!
> 
> Happy Reading!

You woke up early (as you've always done) the next morning and made your way down to the hangar to meet Finn and Poe upon their arrival. You expected to be met with Poe - a tired smile spreading across his lips as he lazily hugged you for a greeting. But instead, you were bet with the sight of an empty landing pad and silence, except for the fluttering of a bird's wings that flew overhead. Needless to say, you were a bit worried that they hadn't returned yet... I mean, yeah, casualties came up more often than naught - but it still concerned you. In fact, you've sensed something was off the whole morning. So, with a sigh, you turned back to go for a walk through the woods until-- 

"Captain!" a female lieutenant called out, running as fast as she could to meet you as you rose an eyebrow. What could possibly be going on this early during the day? You hadn't even had breakfast yet! "Lieutenant? What's the trouble?" you asked. "It's the General, she's requesting to meet with you in her quarters." the woman replied, provoking your eyebrows to furrow as you inquired: "Her quarters? Is she all right?". And with a silent shake of the lieutenants head with sadness, you took off running to Leia's quarters... Leia had been acting strange lately - weak. Not her usual strong self. Which only made you worry all the more... The door creaked open as you stepped in quietly, your gaze was directed to a bed in the corner of the room - lit by fanciful white lamps and there sat Leia, her head laid back on the pillow with her eyes closed lightly... That is, until you walked in. "Y/N." she called out weakly, reaching out her hand for you to come near as you sat by her side and grasped her hand. "I sense something terrible is in motion. Ben is in danger... Palpatine has returned." she whispered. Your eyes widened as you finally came to your senses - you felt it too. And just before you could reply-- "Captain." another lieutenant stated from the doorway as he added: "The Falcon has returned.". So, with a pat on Leia's shoulder in assurance that you'd return, you left to the hangar to meet Poe. 

The Falcon's engines whirred down and out stepped the crew - with Poe at the head, his eyes sleepy and halfway open whilst he immediately met your presence with a tight embrace. "It's not good... He--" "Palpatine returned, I know." you stated knowingly, provoking Poe's eyebrows to furrow in question. "Y-Yeah, how did you know?" he asked, to which you replied: "Never mind how I know. I have to talk to you and Leia immediately I have a plan-- oh Maker, Poe!" you groaned as Poe put nearly all his weight on your shoulder, resting on you as you swung his arm around his shoulder with an understanding sigh. "Come on, Dameron... Let's get you to bed." you whispered in his ear whilst you staggered off to his quarters and helped him into bed. Poor guy was tired and you needed him to be fully awake and not drunken with exhaustion when you told him about your plan... It was too important. So, you returned to your quarters in silence - knowing well what you had to do...

You paced the floor abruptly. Turning on your heel at the end of the line you've paced dozens of times then continuing on the line just as you've done for the last eight minutes. You knew what you had to do, although it was nearly impossible... You had to talk to--

**Him.**

Yeah, him... "Come on, come on." you muttered under your breath, squeezing your eyes shut. "Come on! The one time I need to talk to him and I'm not able to?!" you almost shouted. And in that moment, in the utter silence of your quarters, you heard a faint voice whisper: "Just... Breathe. Close your eyes, and breathe...". It was Luke, through the force - you felt it. So you sighed heavily and sat atop your bed, squeezing your eyes shut lightly as you did exactly what he said...

Breathe. 

The silence was thick. Your chest rose and fell with every breath you took until-- A new silence fell upon the room, before an all too familiar voice spoke. 

'You're doing this aren't you?' he asked, his voice echoing around you as you exhaled shakily and opened your eyes. You were met with the sight of Ben, pausing with a dark object in his hands before tucking it away and out of sight. 

"You're going to Exegol." you stated knowingly... He didn't reply - and his silence only validated what you sensed. 

"No... Please don't go this way, Ben. This is what he wants - for you to destroy him in your anger. We can defeat him together just please don't do this." you pleaded. 

'No, I'm going alone. It's too dangerous for you, don't try to stop me." he replied stoically. 

"Ben, don't do this... I'm going." you said in defiance, only for Kylo - through the Force - to grasp your wrist tightly as he gazed deeply into your eyes... You could feel the earnestness in his touch, and you could see it in his eyes.

'I said I'm going alone... I don't want to have to kill you to make sure you don't get in the way.' he snapped, rendering you speechless before he vanished into the night air. 

There was no way he was going to Exegol alone. And little did he know, you had a Sith wayfinder that Luke found long ago on his search for Exegol. It was time for you to complete what he started, and whether Ben wanted you to or not - you were going. And with that, you left your room in a hurry and went to find Poe and Leia... You hoped to the Maker they would be on-board with your plan because let's be honest...

It was risky. 

**In the command room...**

"Okay okay, give it to us one more time... You're wanting to do **what**?!" Poe asked, provoking you to sigh sharply as you pulled the wayfinder out of your bag and set it on the table with a thud. "This is a Sith wayfinder. Only two were made and Ben is in possession of the second. I'm going to Exegol to stop Ben from killing Palpatine in his anger and turn him back to the light once and for all... Maybe even vanquish Palpatine myself." you replied confidently. Leia's and Poe's stunned silence really wasn't reassuring. "No. No, this is too dangerous, Captain." Leia stated. "Exactly, General. You just got back and how do we know you wouldn't be turned?" Poe asked in addition to Leia's statement. "Leia... I'm going whether you agree or not. I don't want to, but if it came down to it, I will. I won't turn... There is conflict in Ben, I sense it. We spoke through the Force and he's going to Exegol, Leia... Please." you pleaded, watching Leia's expression soften before standing upright weakly and placing her hand on your shoulder. "All right..." she whispered with a smile as Poe's eyes widened. "All right?! N-No! We almost lost her once, we can't lose her again!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air as you placed a hand on his cheek delicately, watching his stiffened face practically melt under your touch. "Poe... You know I have to go..." you stated quietly, to which Poe silently and sadly nodded understandably. "It's settled then. I'll leave tonight." you declared. And with that, you left to your quarters to ready yourself for the perilous journey ahead...

Of course, no task like this was an easy feat. So, you stayed on your bed for nearly two hours reading through Luke's notes and journals about Exegol - that is, until there was a knock at your door. "Come in!" you called out from your bed as the door hissed open to reveal Poe, concern painting his face. "Oh. Hey, Dameron." you said almost casually, standing upright to finalize a few adjustments of your clothing and making sure you had what you needed... Which wasn't much, apparently. "Hey, Y/N..." he began. Yeah, he was about to give you the talk. "Listen, I have a bad feeling about this... You don't know if Ren will turn, and you don't know if--" "Poe." you interrupted softly, turning to gaze at the teary-eyed man... "Save it for the flight pad..." you simply stated, provoking Poe to regain his composure as he nodded. "Y-Yeah. Yeah... You ready?" he asked, to which you nodded silently and left side by side with the handsome pilot.

The sun was nearly setting, painting the sky various shades of pink and orange - slowly turning to darkness as the stars twinkled above the beautiful D'Qar. Your hair was tied up, the wisps of what remained loose swaying in the breeze and occasionally tickling the sides of your cheek. Your X-Wing was ready and freshly fueled, and in front waited a few special people - Jess, Snap, Poe, and Leia... Writhing their fingers with concern as Snap and Jess ran to pull you into a bone-crushing embrace. "You come back to us, okay?" Wexley whispered as you nodded. The odds of coming back were slim, but you refused to admit it... You were hopeful. "Captain." Leia said sweetly, directing you to where she stood as she held out a large trinket in her hand...

Luke's lightsaber. 

"I don't know if I'm ready, Leia..." you said quietly, provoking her to lift your chin to meet her gaze as she simply said: "You're ready, Y/N...". And with a silent embrace, she bid you farewell and left you and Poe in silence. "Save it for the flight pad, huh?" he asked. "Yeah, well... I didn't want you to worry." you replied with a half-smile... And suddenly, Poe pulled you in for a tight hug - tears falling from his eyes as he planted a soft kiss on your lips as a parting gift. "Fly safe, okay, Y/L/N?" he said as you nodded with a weak smile and said: "You know it, Dameron.", breaking away from his embrace and beginning to climb into the cockpit of your X-Wing... Poe knew he couldn't leave it at that... _''Fly safe, okay, Y/L/N?' what kind of goodbye is that?'_ he thought to himself. And before he could stay his tongue from speaking--

"Y/N?" he called out from the ground below as you turned to meet his gaze with tear-filled eyes. "May the Force be with you..." he added, provoking you to smile as you replied: "May the Force be with you too, Poe." with a smile...

And with that, you fired up your engines and your X-Wing lifted into the air. Shooting Poe one last reassuring smile, you lifted off and into the stars - your eyes fixed on the star-filled space ahead. You were going to save Ben...

**Whatever it takes...**


	18. Exegol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally arriving at Exegol, you face Palpatine and join forces with an unlikely ally... 
> 
> Fighting to restore peace to the galaxy and to save Ben Solo once and for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loyal readers! (Obviously, you're loyal if you've read thus far...) We are officially on our second to last chapter of this story. (I know! I wish I could make it longer, so sorry!) This chapter is a bit all over the place for such an important part and I deeply apologize. If you'd like a sequel, just let me know down in the comments. Love you all and thank you so much for your support!
> 
> Happy reading!

Your ship hummed in the silence of space, only the sounds of your breathing and the occasional beep and chatter of the comms reaching your ears. "All right, Y/L/N. You should be nearing Exegol. The weather there is less-than-great by the looks of Luke's texts, so the comms may cut out if not shut off completely due to the storms." Poe's voice stated through the comm-link as you smiled weakly.

"Sounds good, Dameron."

"F--Fly s--fe... 'Kay-- Y/N?" you managed to hear, the comm chopping up already as you sighed heavily and nodded...

You were on your own, now. What a scary thought. No no, you weren't going to give into fear - that's what the dark side would've wanted. You were going to let go of your fear, your hate, and your anger... You were going to end Palpatine and the Sith once and for all - no matter if you were a nobody or not. Soon enough, you reached Exegol and Poe was not joking about the weather... Lightning crashed every which way around you until finally--

A bolt struck your X-Wing. 

This was not good. Every piece of machinery on your ship was beeping - mild turned to critical condition within a manner of seconds before... You started going down... Plummeting to your death in a lightning-struck X-Wing - didn't really seem like the way to go out. So, you braced for impact the best you could and with a crash, your ship hit the ground below - knocking you out briefly until you awoke minutes later...

Everything. Hurt. Your head pounded as you came to slowly under the sound of rain hitting the lift above you that was slightly ajar - allowing enough water in to damage your ship's systems. How on earth were you going to get out of this one?! With a groan, you climbed out of the cockpit and watched the screens and lights in your X-Wing fizzle out and die... Okay, so it wasn't the best start to your mission - it wasn't your fault! It was the storm's fault, yeah. You'd find...some way... to get of this Maker-forsaken planet...

That is, if you didn't die by Palpatine's hand first. 

'No no no!' you thought to yourself. 'Not the way to think, here!' your thoughts added. You had to keep up hope, not just for your sake but everyone's sake - they were depending on you... So, with those thoughts in mind, you trudged onward and through the raging wind and rain. Eventually, a large black citadel comes into view - painstakingly dark and every sense of yours told you that Palpatine lied therein. Your pace slowed but never stopped, you knew that you had to do this... Nearing the structure, you noticed a TIE-Fighter that was parked just outside, drenched in rain but still operable and who it belonged to was evident. 

Ben. 

He was there, you felt him... You hoped that he could feel you too. A light in the darkness, if you will... And without further ado, you headed inside with the most confident of steps, not knowing what lied below... 

**Beneath the Sith Citadel...**

Ben made his way through the darkness, no lightsaber in hand just - him. He knew you would be coming... He rid himself of his lightsaber before coming to Exegol. "Foolish boy..." a voice echoed through the halls, shaking every floor with the brain-rattling sound of the raspy tone. Palpatine. "I sensed the conflict growing inside you... Never did I think you would give in..." he added, Ben stone-faced as he moved through the maze of darkness. 

"I killed Snoke. You'll die too." Ben said stoically.

"We shall see... But not by you... The girl - she is here." Palpatine replied, provoking Ben to stop in his tracks momentarily. "She will strike me down in her hatred and fulfill what you never could... Even as a nobody, she will rule the galaxy in your place..." he added derisively as Ben continued onward...

You were lowered into the deepest parts of the Citadel, your heart pounding within you but you tried to keep it under control. Finally stepping off, you made your way into the citadel arena - all as silent as can be until--

"I've been expecting you, my child..." Palpatine hissed as you stopped in your path, eyes widened whilst you gazed around for a moment before resuming your walk. 

"I have a name. It's Y/N." you quipped. 

"Y/N Y/L/N... The orphan... You didn't even bother to tell your so-called 'friends' that your last name you, in fact, gave yourself..." Palpatine fired back...

He was right... That wasn't your last name - you made it up... You didn't know what your last name was and it was painful being just Y/N. But no. No, you weren't giving into the pain, you couldn't. Not today. 

You stood in the middle of the arena, scouring the room with your eyes for Palpatine until - you turned around and were met with the sight of Palpatine, sitting in his darkened seat (which frightened you a little, let's be honest here). You wished that Ben was with you at that moment, but he was still roaming the endless halls - looking for you... "Come closer, child." Palpatine said, signaling you to draw near but you resisted. "Closer, I said." he repeated. And with a lift of his hand he drew you close with the force, placing you practically five inches from where he sat. "Look at you... Pathetic!" he spat, provoking you to wince at the sudden sneer. "You're nothing. To the feeble rebellion or to the galaxy... All you have to do is strike me down with your weapon and you will rule the galaxy as Sith Y/N." he said, his voice dripping with temptation as he sifted through your every thought and intent - painfully plucking each and every one from its hiding place. "Your anger is strong... Use it. Use your pain, your anger. Strike me down--" he trailed off with a hiss. But at the corner of your eye, you saw Ben - inching his way into the arena silently and behind the Knights of Ren...

Something changed about him... You directed your gaze ever so slightly towards him and he gave you a reassuring nod. "The child takes her weapon in her hand, and ignites it!" Palpatine exclaimed as you unclipped your lightsaber and ignited it - the blue light warming the side of your body. "She raises her weapon and strikes the one she hates down with all of her might and ascends the throne!!!" he shouted. You raised the saber, all the way above your head and without breaking your gaze from Palpatine--

You threw it.

You threw it with all of your might to Ben, standing behind one of the knights as he pierced it's armor with the weapon. But little did Palpatine know, you had another saber in your pocket. 

Leia's. 

Yes, Leia had given it to you long ago - and now you felt as if you had the strength to use it... Ben aligned his back with yours, your breaths in perfect sync as was your intent... First? You had to take out the knights. And you both did exactly that. The knights readied their weapons and you ignited Leia's saber, slitting the throat of the first knight that had come at you. Ben lunged himself at the second with the most powerful of strokes, first ridding the man of his hand, then head. And within a matter of minutes, three - then four- then five and six were slaughtered by your's and Ben's weapons with the sizzle of the light...

Ben turned to you as you both caught your breaths, nodded slightly when you both turned to Palpatine - holding your sabers side by side. 

You weren't going to do this with hatred, no. You were doing this for everyone in the galaxy... "So..." Palpatine began. "You have chosen the way of death!" he added with a shout, lifting his hands to make you and Ben kneel before him as he chuckled darkly. "Yes, the bond you share is sufficient enough to provide even the dead with life." he whispered... In this moment, you were powerless. Ben reached out his hand to summon his weapon with the force, but Palpatine caught him and tossed him into a dark abyss. 

You shrieked in pain when you realized what he had just done... "Not Ben... Please, not Ben..." you whispered to yourself as tears streamed down your face. And as Palpatine finished draining the remaining of your bond - your energy, you fell to the ground... Battered, bloody, and weak. Your head spun and you were tired. With a groan, you managed to roll onto your back - gazing up at the opening above the citadel where thousands of stars shined. "Be with me..." you whispered, squeezing your eyes shut lightly as you did nothing but...

Breathe.

Lightning from Palpatine shot up into the sky, beginning to destroy every ship that the Resistance and beyond brought to aid in the destruction of the Final Order. You began to hear whispers...

Obi-Wan.

Luke.

...Anakin.

And Yoda. 

"Finish what I started..." Anakin whispered. 

"Breathe." Luke said. 

"These are your first steps..." Obi-Wan's voice echoed in you.

"Do or do not, there is no try..." Yoda finally whispered until every voice from every Jedi before you echoed throughout your mind...

You propped yourself up on your bloody knuckles, slowly staggering your way onto your feet as Palpatine laughed evilly. "You cannot undo what has begun!!!" he began. "I am all the Sith!!!!" he shouted, the un-dead that looked upon the scene unfolding in the arena chanted and cheered until you turned to gaze upon Palpatine...

"And I... Am all... The Jedi." you said confidently, summoning yours and Ben's lightsabers and igniting them - crossing them over your chest as Palpatine's lightning sped your way... The light absorbing the shock as you inched your way closer... And with one swift motion--

You pushed back with all your might.

The power of the force overcame Palpatine, dissolving every ounce of the wicked man as he - and the rest of the un-dead - dissipated into thin air...

You did it.

You vanquished Palpatine, not out of anger but out of love for your friends... 

But, the relief didn't last... You were spent. You fell to the ground and with a deep exhale--

You collapsed.

Ben climbed his way upward through the rubble with heavy breaths, groaning occasionally due to a wound or bruise. And then, he saw you... Lying on the ground - cold, battered, and seemingly lifeless. He pulled him self by his arms on the ground towards you, scooping you up into his arms as he rocked you softly before swiping a few strands of hair out of your face... He saw you were wounded on your side, a bloody gash that wasn't easily unnoticed. So, he placed his hand on your wound with closed eyes and within a matter of seconds - you were healed. Your eyes fluttered open not only to meet the man that had just saved your life...

But Ben Solo. 

There, towering over you with a gentle expression on his face as you sat upright slowly. You ran your fingers through his hair, swiping it out of the way before you and Ben leaned in and finally locked lips - as you had been wanting to do... Your breaths were steady, consistent, your lips moving in perfect rhythm before breaking away as a smile painted yours and Ben's faces. But it didn't last long... Kylo collapsed on his back, still breathing but barely. He was weak. You didn't have the strength to heal him because you were weak yourself... So, you staggered onto your feet, draped Ben's arm over your shoulders, and stumbled out of the citadel... 

The storm still raged outside, and your X-Wing was still... well... Done for. So, you had to take the TIE-Fighter. You opened the hatch and climbed into the, now cramped cockpit, situated yourself and Ben within and lifted up into the stars... His ship wasn't exactly in top shape either and you needed somewhere else to go to land... 

**30 minutes later...**

One beep after another began to chirp in the ship, no more buttons left to push and hardly any fuel left to go on. You were going to crash but where? You looked on the holo-maps until-- Ah, Naboo! Yes, it was right there in front of you and you had enough fuel to at least get you and Ben into the atmosphere. So, you flew down to the planet with heavy breaths... A smooth landing was something that you strove for this time...

Okay, so a smooth landing wasn't in the works... As soon as you descended from the clouds, your fuel reserve was empty and the backup of the backup fuel reserve was also spent. So, you braced for a harsh impact and the TIE crashed... Rolling several times before it came to a halt on the beach.

You pulled Ben out of the cockpit, making sure he was still breathing as you began to drag him from the wreckage... But, your strength had failed you and you fell to the ground, Ben landing next to you as you both lied on the sun-warmed sand... The sound of ocean waves crashing upon the shore reached your ears as did the tide, cooling you and Ben as a new feeling filled your body. 

A heaviness... Grief beyond compare and you knew who it was...

Leia.

She passed on, you felt it. And so did Ben... His eyes fluttered open along with yours as you both sat upright simultaneously with widened eyes, turning to meet each other with tear-filled gazes as you both processed what happened...

"Leia--"

"I know..." Ben interrupted, shedding a few tears as you did the same.

Ben pulled you close and you draped your arms over his shoulder... The waves crashing nearby as the tide washed ashore, soaking your clothes but you both didn't mind. Ben cupped your face with his large, soft hands and pulled you in for a tender but passionate kiss... Stroking your cheeks with his thumbs as you both smiled gently. At last, you found your island... The setting sun still warming your faces as the smell of the salty sea reached your nostrils along with Ben's scent... It was all so very entrancing. "I told you you'd find the island..." Ben whispered with a grin that was reciprocated. And planting one more kiss on his cheek, you and Ben staggered onto your feet as you draped Ben's arm over your shoulders once more... You both were still quite weak. "Come on, let's go home..." you said with a smile, making your way off the beach and to a nearby transport service to get a ship to fly back to D'Qar. 

Soon enough, you and Ben took off in a transport... Lifting up into the starry sky and back to D'Qar. You and Ben took a seat near the window, smiling at one another before placing your head on his shoulder as he rested his head on yours - you both drifting slowly off to sleep on the journey home...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter will be coming soon!!!!


	19. Warm Welcomes and Fond Farewells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Ben return to the base on D'Qar; changes take place since Leia's sudden passing and Ben makes a surprising proposal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! I hope you enjoy this chapter, I've definitely enjoyed writing these for y'all!<3

The sun shined on the beautiful rebel base on D'Qar... Your transport breached the planet and soon enough, safely landed on the flight pad of the base. You glanced out the window, watching Finn and Poe step out onto the runway - prepared for anything and hands on their blasters... They had no idea who it could be, thus making the surprise all the more fun... You turned to gaze at Ben, who was silent and nervously gazing out the window, before meeting yours, that is... He was nervous, you sensed it. His thoughts were all one thing: What if they didn't accept him after all he had done? "Ben." you began, placing your hand on his gently as you added: "It'll be okay... Come on.". So, Ben sighed, stood upright as you smiled, and followed you out of the transport as it landed with a hiss - smoke erupting from the exhausts as you stepped out. Poe and Finn stood with winced eyes, trying to get a good look at who was coming through the smoke.

It was you, your hair in quite the disarray but still as beautiful as ever. Both Poe's and Finn's jaws fell as you ran to where they stood - throwing your arms around them as the three of you sobbed quietly... Tears of joy mixed with the sadness of the loss of Leia. However, your friendly affections came to a screeching halt when Poe grabbed his blaster from his hip holster, pointing it directly at Ben as he came through the smoke. "Poe!" you exclaimed, rushing over to Ben with hands up. "He's with us now." you said, refusing to break eye contact with the pilot as his expressions changed... He knew you loved Ben, and the understanding expression on his face made it evident. "Oh." he said under his breath as Ben walked over to him and extended his hand - taken aback a bit once Poe shook it with a smile. "Your Highness." Poe greeted him, provoking Ben to smile as you joined the men by their sides. Finn decided to show Ben to his new quarters and you turned to Poe with concern. "Poe, I--" "It's - okay, Y/N. He cares for you, and as long as you're happy, I am too." he interrupted sweetly as you gave him a half-smile. "Leia - she's gone..." he added. "I know." you simply stated. "Once you and Ben are settled in, a meeting is taking place in the command room - you're going to want to be there for it." he replied with a proud smirk as you cocked your eyebrow with a chuckle and returned to your quarters with a smile... You were finally back. 

After settling in and resting up for most of the day, you wondered what the meeting would entail as you walked through the halls of the base - scanning the room numbers until you finally found Ben's. You felt like you needed to check on him and you wanted to walk with him to the meeting so he wasn't by himself... And so you weren't by yourself either. You knocked on his door and you heard a 'come in' almost instantly. He knew it was you. As you walked inside, he stepped out of the washroom - slipping a covering over his bare chest (that wasn't at all bad to look at) and turned to you with a nervous smile. "Are you settling in nicely?" you asked, writhing your fingers together with a sweet smile that was reciprocated. He looked different - actually happy... Well, for the most part that is. "Yes, I am. It's very nice, just..." he began, stopping mid-sentence as you rose an eyebrow. "Is something wrong?" you asked. You sensed something, but he wouldn't let you in. "Ben..." you began, inching your way closer as you cupped his right cheek with your hand, watching his expressions soften whilst he rested his head in your hand. And then, you felt it...

He was lonely. 

Not only lonely, but he felt guilty for all he had done - and he was afraid no one would accept him. 

You knew that was what it was... His gaze that fell to the floor then picked back up to meet yours validated what you sensed. But you weren't going to help him by sifting through his thoughts, you were going to let him wait and come to you... You were going to wait until he trusted you fully. "Come on, let's get to that meeting..." you said kindly, Ben looking up to meet your gaze with a weak-smiled nod as you both walked out and to the command room... Maker knows what you'd find there...

"Everybody settle down!!!" Poe shouted above the overlapping chatter and even bicker among the fellow rebels, provoking them to finally listen and sit in their seats silently as you and Ben watched from the side in the front. "Thank you. Now, before General Organa passed, she made it known who she wanted to take her place..." he stated calmly, looking around the room as everyone whispered to each other as to who it would be. "The position of General now rests upon the shoulders of Captain Y/N Y/L/N." he added. And now, the chatter had gotten significantly louder. You?! You were speechless! I mean, in an honored kind of speechless but-- Wow. You weren't expecting that... Nor were you exactly prepared to be a General. You needed some help... "I-I can't be general!" you exclaimed practically without hesitation as the crowd hushed almost instantly. What on D'Qar just poured out of your mouth?! It was true, though... "I can't be general, Poe... I'd need help." you stated, scanning the room for a co-general until--

It hit you. 

Not only did you feel it, but he felt it too - as soon as your eyes met. And you hoped, with all of your being that they would approve. 

"I would like for Ben Solo, Leia's son, to be my co-general." you declared... Talk about commotion!

Everyone.

And I mean **everyone**... 

Was in an uproar. 

"You would like for Kylo Ren to be your co-general?! He has killed thousands and thousands of people, must we not take that into consideration?!" one of the lieutenants shouted as you looked at Ben who remained silent. He knew it was true, but he was truly remorseful... He had turned. But everyone only agreed with the man all the more and not even Poe's incessant demands of silence could make the crowd listen. " **EVERYBODY SHUT UP!!!** " you shouted to the top of your lungs as everybody's eyes widened and as every lip tightly shut. "Ben Solo has returned. Do you not believe anyone can change?! I mean, Finn was a stormtrooper and look at him now! Serving in the Rebellion! This is what Leia would've wanted! Ben Solo is a changed man, and I would be honored to have him by my side as co-general. That is, if he would join me." you protested. Everyone stayed silent, mostly in thought and in shame of what they had just said. She was right and they knew it, therefore their minds were changed quickly... You sighed, turning to Ben who's eyes were widened at your sudden outburst and statement... And pleasantly surprised by it as well. Ben inched closer and closer with a smile, locking his gaze with yours as he spoke.

"General." he said with an extended hand, which you shook with a grin as you simply replied: "General.", the majority of the room erupting into applause and cheers as Ben leaned down and kissed your cheek. "Thank you..." he whispered in your ear, standing upright as you both smiled at the cheering crowd. "Meet your new generals. General Y/N Y/L/N and General Ben Solo!" Poe exclaimed with a grin, signaling for people to shake your hands as they left the command room...

Of course, not everyone was keen on the idea of Ben being your co-general - but most of them were, which was quite the relief to both you and Ben... But, the long day soon came to an end and everyone returned to their respective rooms after bidding one another a goodnight. You walked Ben to his room, watching him punch in the code to his room as he turned to you with a smile. "Thank you... For what you did in the command room." he said in that deep, smooth voice of his that you loved. "You're welcome." you replied with an equally kind smile. Just then, an awkward silence fell upon the hall - the sexual tension you could cut with a knife. You didn't know if you should kiss him goodnight and he didn't know if he should kiss you goodnight. You both wanted so desperately to make a move but you just - couldn't. "W-Well, goodnight." you both said simultaneously, you breaking away from Ben and beginning down the corridor as he began to make his way into his room - both you and Ben turning around one last time to gaze and smile before parting ways for the evening. 

What. A. Day. You returned to D'Qar with Ben, was promoted to General (and, apparently, Ben was given ownership of the Falcon), and you and Ben were in a really good, and somewhat awkward yet, sweet spot. Everything finally felt right! Except one thing.

You hoped that Ben would let his guard down soon. Whenever he was ready to talk, you would be ready too - you knew that beyond the shadow of a doubt. So, with a contented sigh, you quickly changed and buried yourself under the blankets of your bed, staring up at the ceiling with a grin before slowly drifting off into a peaceful sleep...

**A few hours later...**

You were sound asleep in your bed, most likely dreaming about X-Wings or Naboo until a--

_**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!** _

awoke you out of your sleep. Really! Who would be awake at this hour?! You sleepily rubbed your eyes, switched on a nearby lamp, and trudged over to the door to answer. And much to your surprise...

It was... Ben?!

"Ben! What on earth are you doing awake at this hour?! Are you all right?!" you whisper shouted as Ben scratched the back of his head nervously, running his fingers through his hair as he spoke. "Y-Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I just-- Needed to talk to you." he replied, your blank stare breaking as you invited him inside... Only, he didn't sit down. Whenever he was ready, yeah. But you didn't think he would be ready at 3 in the morning!!! 

"Y/N, I couldn't sleep without asking you this... I-It's really important and I couldn't wait." he said quickly as you raised an eyebrow. "Okay... W-What is it?". "I'm leaving." he said simply, provoking your eyes to widen. Leaving?!? "You're leaving? You've only just gotten here, Ben..." you replied, somewhat disappointed at the fact that if he left - you might never see him again. "No no no, you don't understand... I want you to come with me." he said. This night just got weirder. "W-Wait, come with you?" you asked for clarification as Ben grasped your hands gently, fervently, yet lovingly. "Y/N, I love you. And I know you love me, I've seen it in your thoughts... I want to travel across the stars with you! Maybe-- Maybe even find your parents." he answered, twirling you lightly as he trailed off on all the possibilities such an adventure could hold! So many wonderful things you can do together... And how you and him can spend your lives together as the crew members of the Falcon (along with Chewie, of course). And without any hesistation--

"Yes!" you exclaimed as Ben stopped mid-sentence. "Wait, what?" he asked. "Yes, Ben! I'd follow you to the ends of space because I love you!" you replied, watching Ben's lips break into a grin as he took you into his arms and pulled you in for a passionate kiss. He gently nudged you against the wall, deepening the kiss as you ran your fingers through his coal-black hair... Finally pulling away, you both grinned. "When do we leave?" you asked between breaths as Ben simply replied: "Tomorrow morning.". There was no hesitation within you, and no trace of doubt in your mind. This was the right thing to do. You would leave the responsibilities of generals on Finn and Poe, they were more than capable. "So..." you began, turning to Ben who let out a 'hm?'. "Is that... All you came for?" you asked whilst Ben's content expression turned to that of shyness. "I came to ask if I could... Lay with you." he answered truthfully. So, with a red-faced grin, you nodded approvingly and slipped under the warm sheets of your bed with Ben as he held you in his arms lovingly, twirling his fingers through the strands of your hair with a sigh. "What is it?" you asked. "I couldn't bear the thought of going another night without you in my arms..." said Ben, pulling you in for one more kiss as you both then drifted off into a deep sleep - knowing that your cases of loneliness would be cured for that night, and many more nights to come... 

**The next morning...**

"And so, the title of generals are going to you and Finn! Congratulations, General." you told Poe with a grin, shaking his hand as he stared blankly at you before snapping out of it and following you around the Falcon whilst you loaded the supplies you, Ben, and Chewie might need. "Wait, are you sure about this? You two just got here and you're leaving!" Poe exclaimed, making you stop in your tracks as you sighed with a sweet smile. "Poe, this is not only a chance to be with Ben, but for me to find my parents... Who I actually am. Besides, general suits you better than it does me. You deserve it.". "Okay... Thank you, Y/L/N." he said. "Anytime, Dameron." you replied with a grin, turning to gaze as Ben stepped out onto the flight pad - the black shirt and dark blue pants with a yellow stripe suiting him perfectly with a blaster in its holster slung around his waist. My, he looked like his father... Just, ten times more handsome, in your opinion. And he knew it too, that's what made you love him even more. "Everything loaded up?" he asked with a smile as you nodded. "Yep! Chewie is already inside, preparing takeoff procedures." you replied, shooting him a grin as he stepped aboard the Falcon - that was your signal to go. "Well, if you ever need another pilot - you know who to call... General." you said to Poe, saluting playfully as he grinned and pulled you in for a tight hug... "Thanks, Y/N... Now go! I have a feeling your story is far from over." he stated with a smirk, watching you board the Falcon while the doors hissed shut. 

"You ready?" Ben asked with a side-smirk as you smiled and nodded. "Okay, then... May the Force be with us." he added, lifting the Falcon off the landing pad and out of D'Qar - jumping into lightspeed as you both disappeared into the vast sea of stars...

Poe was right. 

Your story was far from over...

**Be on the lookout for the sequel!**


End file.
